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- "Why's Reagan trying to blow out the chandelier?"
- "Happy Birthday to...wait stop. He's wandered off again!"
- "...And now president Reagan will use his Playskool phone to call and wish himself a Happy Birthday"
- "Mommy make me cake! Cake good"
- "More coffee, Quayle!"
- "Hey, someone spiked the punch with Grecian Formula"
- "Excuse me, I've got to exercise the old 'Trickle-Down Theory', if you know what I mean"
- "Quick, hide the cake! Rush Limbaugh's here!"
- "Wow, a Beavis and Butthead T-Shirt!"
- "Am I still President?"
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