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1:00 am - Alarm clock rings
2:00 am - Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed
2:30 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pick-up
3:00 am - Leave for the deep woods
3:15 am - Back home to pick up gun
3:30 am - Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent
4:00 am - Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight
4:30 am - Set up camp
6:05 am - Head for the woods
6:06 am - See eight deer
6:07 am - Take aim and squeeze the trigger
6:08 am - CLICK
8:00 am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill
9:00 am - Head back to camp
12:00 NOON - Fire gun for help--eat wild berries
12:15 pm - Run out of bullets--eight deer come back
12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach
12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries
12:45 pm - Rescued
12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
3:00 pm - Arrive back at camp
3:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer
4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets
4:01 pm - Load gun--Leave camp again
5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you
6:00 pm - Arrive at camp--see deer grazing in camp
6:01 pm - Load gun
6:02 pm - Fire gun
6:03 pm - One dead pick-up
6:05 pm - Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer
6:06 pm - Repress desire to shoot hunting partner
6:07 pm - Fall into fire
6:10 pm - Change clothes--throw burned ones onto fire
6:15 pm - Take pick-up, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp
6:25 pm - Pick-up boils over--hole shot in block
6:26 pm - Start walking
6:30 pm - Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud
6:35 pm - Meet bear
6:36 pm - Take aim
6:37 pm - Fire gun, blow up barrel--plugged with mud
6:38 pm - Mess pants
6:39 pm - Climb tree
9:00 pm - Bear leaves. Wrap *$%!@#$% gun around tree
Midnight - Home at last
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General - Unsorted jokes
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