Twas the "NET" before Christmas
When all through our house,
Not a creature was typing
nor moving a mouse.
Our Monitors hummed
and were glowing within,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas
would soon "Modem" in.
The teenagers were crashed
in their messy bedrooms,
and dreaming of boxes
With games such as Doom.
Mom back from aerobics
and done kissing me,
We just settled in for some
much needed ZZZ's.
When in the home office
there arose such a din,
I shot down the stairs,
Had the fax just come in??
Away to my keyboard
I leaped to my chair,
Typed in my password ...
But no Fax was there!!
My screen came alive
it was wildly aglow,
The hard drive went crunching
The "One and the "O."
When what my bifocaled eyes
should I see,
But a Brand New Web Browser
not AT&T.
From server so rapid
(not one on the slates)
That I thought for a moment
"It must be Bill Gates!!"
Incoming more quickly
than 14.4 fame,
Screeching, now flashing,
Calling "Plug-Ins" by name.
"Now Java! Now Shockwave! & ReaL Audio!
On Website! On Quicktime! & 3VDO!"
To the World Wide Web System
To the great Hacker's Ball,
Now Cache away!
Cache away!
Cache away all!!
Beyond all the strengths
Of new chips I see,
This CPU giant bought Power to Me
And into my Ram a new Browser Sublime(!)
Brimming with programs
Saint Nicholas is on my Line!!
Then I in a second
Heard soundboarding in,
Saint Nicholas's jolly laughter
Above all this din.
I pulled back my hands
and fell out of my chair,
In shock at the sight
Of Saint Nick standing there!
Though made up of Pixels
He seemed very real,
With clothing quite Modern
And full of Appeal.
A bundle of CD's
Were slung from his bag
He looked like an "X" er
With middle aged sag!!
He wore cool sunglasses
His face was electric,
His cheeks Two Mac Apples
His nose Neon Pink!
His handsome full lips
Were set in a grin,
With a Snow White
Bohemian Beard set on his chin.
With the butt of a Cuban
Lit up with flare,
I saw Cyber Smoke
Making rings in the air!
He got that "Hip" look
and acted so mellow,
But his belly still shook
Still a Jolly Old Fellow!
Flashing Peace signs to all
and nodding his head,
Lead me to think
I had nothing to dread!
He spoke not a word
But went straight to the show,
Left shiney new Laptops
And then turn to go ...
And laying his finger
aside of the node,
As quick as a wink
Through the Monitor he flowed.
He appeared on the Screen
On the keys poked delete
And transported away
His Mission Complete ...
But I heard him exclaim
As the screen had turned white,
"CYBER CHRISTMAS TO ALL,
AND TO ALL A GOOD BYTE!!"
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Seasonal - Holiday jokes
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