snail jokes

|There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to ge...

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided t...

A man hears a knock at his door, opens it but doesn't see anyone.He glances down, sees a snail there...

A man hears a knock at his door, opens it but doesn't see anyone.

He glances down...

A man hears a knock at his door, opens it but doesn't see anyone.



He gl...

One Sunday morning John stepped out onto the porch in his bathrobe to pick up his newspaper. He ...

They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, ...

The landlord of a pub, is just locking up, when there's a ring on the doorbell.

He opens...

When a snail crossed the road, he was run over by a turtle.

Regaining consciousn...

When a snail crossed the road, he was run over by a turtle.

Regaining consciousness...

A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer.



The barman says 'Sorry we do...

A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer.The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws h...

The landlord of a pub, is just locking up, when there's a ring on the doorbell. He opens the doo...

The owner of a bar is just locking up for the night when there is a knock at the door. He opens ...

Q. What did the snail say when he climbed onto the turtles back?A. WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

Q. What did the snail say when he climbed onto the turtles back?



A. WHH...

There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car.So, he went to a dealership and bought a ca...

There once was a snail that wanted to buy a Nissan Z car.



So, he went t...

A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock ...

This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The servi...

|How do snails get their shells so shiny?They use snail varnish!...

A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't ...

A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' a...

What does the snail say when he gets on the turtle?"Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!"...

|Why is the snail the strongest animal?Because he carries a house on his back!...

|What is the definition of a slug?A snail with a housing problem!...

Two postmen are on break having a cigarette. While on this break one postman says "Hey look at t...

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and noone is there. He looks all around and he...

What is stronger an elephant or a snail ? A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant jus...

|What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?Sir!What can an elephant with a machine gun call yo...

Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon....

How do snails get their shells all shiny? They use snail polish....

Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!...

Q: Why did God give women legs? A: So that they wouldn't leave tracks like snails!...

Q: Why did God give women legs?

A: So that they wouldn't leave tracks like snails!...

Q: What did the snail say when it caught a ride on the back of the turtle as i...

|What was the snail doing on the highway?About one mile a day!...

Q: What did the snail say when it caught a ride on the back of the turtle as it was crossing the...

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail? The world's slowest vampire....

Why sex is better with sheep?

They're always in the mood.
They're constantly ...

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail? I don't know but it would slow him down....

Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon....

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a snail Don't worry we'll soon have you out of your shell!...

Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. Yo mama so lazy she's...

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?If yo...

10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.4...

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?<...

Top 10 Resolutions You Won't Keep This Year (for Nerds)



10. I will n...

Stop neglecting children; at least learn their names and birthdays.
Stop circulating the "...

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to be...