birthday jokes

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a ceme...

He-- It's coming up on your birthday and I'd like some idea of what
you would like for yo...

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday? "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"...

Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in ...

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a ce...

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"I'll buy my wife a cemetery p...

The corner shop baker was a true artist when it came to making birthday cakes. One customer aske...

It was John The Milkman's birthday. Being a friendly sort of chap, he knew most of his customers...

Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning. I went down to bre...

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to...

A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's ...

Happy Birthday Uncle Dad....

Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don't get the...

Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning
anyway.

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I w...

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the...

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the...

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so ...

"Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and...

Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake ? The candles melted in...

I've been shopping for my wife's birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensi...

Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It's a great pre...

"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"...

For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So they gave him a sumo wrestler!...

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upsid...

"I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you." "A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that...

What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating....

Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!...

Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap? It was a birthday present from his wife!...

What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? I don't know, but you'd better...

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!...

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
it once....

One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary:



"Two weeks ago,"...

BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise...

How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? He has a whale of a party!...

What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!...

What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!...

Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears? I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!...

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

...

One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary:

"Two weeks ago," I said,...

Two men are sitting in a pub talking, one mentions that it's his wife's birthday soon and he doe...

It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party...

Two men are sitting in a pub talking, one mentions that it's his wife's birthday soon and he doesn't...

10. "Why's Reagan trying to blow out the chandelier?"
    
9. "Hap...

What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?Briefs!! ha!ha!...

I forgot my brother's birthday last month. What did he say? Rick: Nothing, yet....

What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday? A stole....

Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!...

Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!...

How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ...