pick up jokes

Schedule of a Wife and Mother:

Attempt to wake husband.
Feed baby.
Make breakfast...

1. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a roc...

Pick them up off the floor...

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Octopus?


I don't know, but ...

1. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a...

1. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people ...

What women say and what they mean

Can't we just be friends? = There is no way in he...

A few years ago, while riding home from school on my bicycle,
I had a bit of a problem; ...

On the bottom 3 rungs of hell are: Richard Nixon, 3rd from the bottom; Ronald Reagan, 2nd from ...

Why did God give Mexicans a nose?So they'd have something to pick in the off season!...

nice shoes wanna f**k...

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I see myself in your pants....

- The older they get, the easier they are to pick up....

One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the peop...

Will sell for parts one F-117 Plane in wrecked condition. Self pick-up from Yugoslavia by buyer...

It's kinda cute, but can it pick up peanuts?...

Put a naked woman and a six pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one....

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the ...

Get the boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples carts when they are not loo...

One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the ...

Why did God give Mexicans a nose?

So they'd have something to pick in the off season...

Because he just came to pick up his sister!...

Couldn't get the tailgate down....

10. If you can pack your worldly possesions into the back of a pick-up (one trip)....

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owne...

Holy Man lives in a house close to the river. It rains for a couple days, the river comes up and...

One Sunday a pastor toldthe congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the p...

Yo mommas so ugly yo dad had to pick her up from the pound last night coz they thought she was a...

Saturday
1:00 A.M. Alarm clock rings.
2:00 A.M. Hunting partners arrive, drag yo...

"Where in the world did you pick up that dirty thing?" asked the bartender. "Won it in a raffle"...

Guy: My watch is telling me you aren't wearing any panties.
Girl: Yes I am.
Guy: Damn, it ...

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owne...

Vito and VladimirThere were two guys who wanted to pick up women on a beach. One was Italian (Vito) ...

You have to hit the dashboard in your truck to get the lights and radio to work.

The tire...

Teacher: Where is the English Channel ? Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up...

What did the elephant say to the naked man? ''It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?''...

How do rednecks in Kentucky have four play?

Sis are you awake?...

Be nice to your kids... they will pick out your nursing home someday!...

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age....

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man? A: It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it...

Q: What's the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then...

Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime....

yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck....

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?





A: They bo...

Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size!...

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?


A: They both get easier t...

What did the elephant say to the naked man? ''It's nice, but can it pick up...

It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you ge...

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman o...

What is the difference between a vulture and your mother-in-law? Vultures wait until your dead to pi...