computing jokes

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2....

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

Soon available at checkout counters everywhere:...

|They would immediately change the name to WatMas....

|You would be able to hang over 64,000 ornaments on your tree (all identical) at the same time....

|It would do everything the Microsoft ornaments do, but years earlier, and with a smaller mouse (not...

|he staff would sell you ornaments, but not know anything about them or what they were for. Or you c...

|The holiday would be cheap, small, quartz-crystal driven, and would let you take a licking and keep...

|"Baby's First Ornament" would have a hand-crank that you turn to hang the thing on the tree....

|Your ornaments would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could access in case they needed to ...

|They would market the Reverse Polish Ornament, which is put in your attic on the weekend after Than...

|CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471In order to increase the security of all company computing faci...

|Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..?...

|The holiday season would cost $16 million but would be celebrated faster than any other holiday dur...

|They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. R...

|Their Personal Xmas-ing Device, which would be barely larger than an ornament and flat, would allow...

..... Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for con...

Microsoft Corporation has just announced a new PC keyboard designed specifically for Windows. In...

|Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted item from an authentic Civil War pewter ...

This was just forwarded to me from a friend.

Microsoft Corporation has just announc...

|Ornaments would be priced slightly higher, but would hang on the tree remarkably quickly. Also the ...

|OCR - Optical Character RecognitionA technology that can take written words and convert them back i...

|Webster's Dictionary definition of Windows 95Windows95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell ...

|Our Morning Prayer . . .Our Hard Drive Which art internal Volume C by name; Thy code be clean, Thy ...

|Shift to the left, shift to the right!Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!...

"That math prof's marriage is falling apart!"
"No wonder! He's into scientific computing...

|Top nine reasons computers must be male:They have a lot of data but are still clueless. A better mo...

|10. The monitor is up on blocks.9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front key...

|LETTERS TO THE EDITOR (The Times of London)Dear Sir,I am firmly opposed to the spread of microchips...

|The ornaments would be large perfectly smooth and seamless black cubes. Christmas morning there wou...

|Picky, picky, picky. They hear what you say, but not what you mean. Beauty is only shell deep. When...

The Three Laws of Secure Computing 1) Don't buy a computer. 2) If you do buy a computer, don...

According to Computing, quoting (of all things) Ladies Home Journal:

Bill Gates was...

CORPORATE DIRECTIVE NUMBER 88-570471

In order to increase the security of all company com...

|Don't you wish when life is badand things just don't compute,That all we really had to dowas stop a...

|Surfin' the NetSo I think I'm in the clearthe boss is no where in sightI logon to the web and start...

|An office technician got a call from a user. The user told the tech that her computer was not worki...

|The Net is SlowOh, the network outside is frightful,But on campus, it's so delightful,Our packets h...

|A person turned on the computer without a keyboard plugged in.When she turns on the computer, the c...

|Each time you bought an ornament, you would have to buy a tree as well. You wouldn't have to take t...

|Dear Boss,I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of thi...

|One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was ...

A woman went to her doctor for a followup visit after the doctor
had prescribed testoster...

|10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.9. He's won the Publisher's Cleari...

|10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.9. When was the last t...

|The checkout line at the hardware store was getting longer and longer as the clerk labored to get t...

|10. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.9. It's celebrity spokesman is that ...

|Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad ComputerLower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it. ...

|99 little bugs in the code,99 bugs in the code,Fix one bug, compile it again,101 little bugs in the...

|An application was for employmentA program was a TV showA cursor used profanityA keyboard was a pia...