christmas jokes

|What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?It's Christmas, Eve ! How do you make an idiot laugh...

A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
Chr...

A Christmas tree is always erect.
Even small ones give satisfaction.
A Christmas tre...

When you dress it up with silver and gold, it doesn't look like a cheap hooker.
A Christma...

|Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman" A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other C...

|What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?Santa Clues!Father Christmas win a s...

When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.

If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon.
If you...

From the Zeitgeist column of The Guardian Weekend (18 Dec 1993)

On his LBC show las...

Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman"

A Christmas tree doesn't care how m...

Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman"

A Christmas tree doesn't care how m...

Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one where the three creatures...

If Dell ran Christmas...
Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..?...

Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story? Elf: The one about the ghost that stea...

Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
A: On Christmas morning, ...

If DEC ran Christmas...
We used to have Christmas back in the '70s, didn't we?...

Democrats' favorite Christmas carol is "Deck the Halls." Young Democrat's favorite Christmas car...

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting ...

1. Last Christmas we were thinking about all the things we didn't have; this Christm...

Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates wait...

What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night? F...

It's customarily said that Christmas is done 'for the kids'. Considering how awful Christmas is ...

How to cats greet each other at Christmas ? "A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !...

What do gnomes fear most about Christmas? They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sa...

|Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting...

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day!-Phyllis Diller...

Mail your packages early so that the post office can lose them in time for Christmas!-Johnny Carson...

Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream? Lad...

Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow! I'm on my way, Fath...

|Knock KnockWho's there ?WenceslasWenceslas who ? Wenceslas train home ? Knock KnockWho's there ?Sno...

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a frontal lobotomy.

On th...

Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into ...

If The Rand Corporation ran Christmas...
The ornaments would be large perfectly smooth and se...

At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could o...

Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge? Gnome : Put a fi...

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ? A merry Christmas to ewe...

|For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to meSee if they can do it again.For the second bug...

How about a little Christmas poetry?

The wife is shopping for Christmas gifts,
W...

|It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged w...

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me:
See if they can do it again.

Young lad on knee of a department-store Santa: "Please notice one thing - I'm adequately clothed...

Ingredients

1/2 cup Hugs
4 tsp Kisses
2 cups Smiles
4 cups Love

A wish for Christmas It is around christmas time and santa is sitting in the middle of the mall ...

Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Christmas: Can't ...

Q: What do you call three blondes sitting under a Christmas tree?

A: Ho, Ho, Ho!...

|Wait a minute? Isn't IBM running this Christmas..?...

(Q.)Why do mexicans eat tamales for christmas?


(A.)So they have something...

Q. What does a black boy get for Christmas? A. Your Bike....

If University of Waterloo ran Christmas...
They would immediately change the name to WatMas....

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

See if they can do it again.