birthday jokes

He-- It's coming up on your birthday and I'd like some idea of what
you would like for yo...

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a ceme...

Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn't figure out how to get the cake in ...

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday? "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"...

The corner shop baker was a true artist when it came to making birthday cakes. One customer aske...

It was John The Milkman's birthday. Being a friendly sort of chap, he knew most of his customers...

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a ce...

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to...

A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's ...

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,"I'll buy my wife a cemetery p...

Happy Birthday Uncle Dad....

Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning. I went down to bre...

Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don't get the...

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the...

A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the...

Two weeks ago was my 35th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning
anyway.

"Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and...

Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake ? The candles melted in...

Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It's a great pre...

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I w...

I've been shopping for my wife's birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensi...

Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so ...

"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"...

Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? The stamps kept falling off the rocks!...

For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So they gave him a sumo wrestler!...

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upsid...

"I'm giving a 'surprised' birthday party for you." "A 'surprised'. birthday party? What's that...

What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating....

BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise...

Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap? It was a birthday present from his wife!...

What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? I don't know, but you'd better...

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!...

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
it once....

How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? He has a whale of a party!...

What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow? A birthday pheasant!...

Why did you buy me a pair of bunny ears? I wanted you to have a hoppy birthday!...

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

...

It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party...

10. "Why's Reagan trying to blow out the chandelier?"
    
9. "Hap...

One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary:



"Two weeks ago,"...

I forgot my brother's birthday last month. What did he say? Rick: Nothing, yet....

What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday? A stole....

Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!...

"My birthday's coming" Do you know what I need?" "Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"...

Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!...

How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party? Look for his footprints in the ...

What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!...

"This birthday cake certainly is crunchy." "Maybe you should spit out the plate!"...

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced....

Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday? Because people kept toasting him!...