Army joke - Military jokes (43250)

Military jokes 284 hits




 


After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander

was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically

performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them

that Her Majesty's Army had committed to reward each of the three

soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different

parts of the man's body.



The commander addressed the first soldier, "Where would you like

to be measured, Sergeant?" "From the tip of me head to the soles

of me feet, Sir!" he replied. "Very good!," the commander said,

and the sergeant was measured at 6'5." He was paid the handsome

sum of 7000 pounds.



The second soldier was asked, "What about you, Corporal?" "Between

the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!" the corporal

said. "Very good!" replied the commander. The corporal, a man of

considerable wingspan, was rewarded 8000 quid.



Finally, the last soldier was addressed. "And you, Private, where

would you like measured?" "From the tip of me penis to the base of

me balls, Sir!" retorted the private. The commander replied, "I must

admit this is quite an unusual request, Private, but it's your

decision." He ordered the private to drop his pants for the ensuing

measurement. Immediately the general's mouth fell agape and he

stammered, "Where in God's name are your gonads, Private?!!"

The private proclaimed, "Goose Green, Falkland Islands, Sir!!"