animal jokes

For all animal lovers out there:How do you make a cat go 'woof'? Soak it in petrol, and set it on fi...

A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.The teacher held up a picture of a cat."Wha...

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if ...

If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger ? A ...

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? A mouse. Why? 'Cause it squeaks!...

Three animals were having a hugeargument over who was the best.The first, a hawk, claimed that becau...

What do hillbilly chicks and polar bears have in common?
They both ...

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous
and give the wrong answers...

What is the toughest animal in the world? The sheep that steel wool comes from...
...

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on...

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, put in the gi...

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigera...

Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper...

The circus manager looked at the tiny man who had applied for the job of animal trainer. "Aren't...

A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his ...

|Why is the snail the strongest animal?Because he carries a house on his back!...

A blind man was out walking with his seeing eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man'...

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries.The ...

When cosmetic products state "Not Tested on Animals" on the label, does it mean that that has no...

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries....

What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !...

One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you be...

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come...

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake an...

A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywhere. He walked int...

A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywh...

If there was an animal called Yabba Dabba, and if you decided keep
it as a pet it your ba...

Substitute <ethnic origin> below for the place of origin of any ethnic
group not lo...

3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world was...

|Whats the world weakest animal?A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!...

3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world...

3 elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park bench discussing what the meanest animal in the world...

1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator, put in the gi...

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have f...

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to 'Where do pets come...

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to 'Where do pets come...

"Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and could...

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to, "Where do pets com...

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to, "Where do pets com...

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon o...

What do polar bears have that no other animal has?
Polar bear babies....

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come...

What's the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo? In a Northern zoo you have the...

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church,
and being told there was a fortune in horse<...

Tourist guide at zoo: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant, thelargest animal to roam the lan...

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class,and the teacher says that aninteresting phenomenon of na...

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

What do you do if an endang...

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. Af...

It is reported that the following addition to the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Sea...

This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a 'professional smart person' by your friends....