terms and definitions jokes

The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep
you on the edge of fin...

A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically
burns toast....

A mechanical device used to fill in the end of your
driveway as soon as you f...

A drink you buy at the convenience store to go with
a half pound bag of peanut M&M's...

Similar to a black hole in space. If he goes in, he isn't coming out
anytime soon....

When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar
grunting noises....

A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and
romance, but consider yo...

Willing to take calculated risks: Doesn't mind spending someone else's money.

Zealous at...

A woman who complains that she doesn't have a thing to wear
and that there isn't enough cl...

Compact home incinerator used for the disposal of bulky
pieces of meat and poultry....

A natural instinct of the human mind; when A sees B in
distress, his conscience always ur...

A piece of paper you spent half an hour writing, and then forgot to
take with you to the ...

An amount of blood loss which threatens the viability
of the patient, and the composure of...

A variety of meat.

Rarely served as it clearly
crosses the line between a...

Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by
the average individual prior...

Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle
of radar to locate and immediately...

32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit
patch to an 8 bit operating system o...

Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited...

Bunch of printed pages that tell you what's
coming in the next issue....

Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer....

Computer keyboard sized down for use by children....

Vandalism spray-painted very, very high....

Person who likes to see other people stewed....

Proof that truce is stronger than friction....

A replacement of old bugs with new bugs....

Coming back to life as a hillbilly....

Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was
your money to ...

Condition that enables a woman
who has gone through labor to make love again....

America OnLine: An organization
set up to give Internetters someone to make ethnic jokes a...

A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
shoes into it....

Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.

Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly ...

Homosexual repellent perfume....

Girl who regards a bulge as a curve....

Effective sunspot remover....

Thick oatmeal. Rarely found on American tables as
children now have the right to sue t...

Not a desk person: Did not go to college.

Of great value to the organization: Turns in ...

On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth.

On his collar, coloring on...

Terminal coolness....

Duplicating film....

Unseen when it comes, but visible when it goes....

Noah's wife.
...

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP: A person who will never...

Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.



Why did ...

Expresses self well: Can string two sentences together.

Gets along extremely well with s...

Thick, black, bitter coffee, traditionally served in
tiny cups at gunpoint....

Visionary: Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week.

Well organ...

Terminal - Time to call da undertaker.

Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.

Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.

Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winte...

A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing
ingredients you forgot to buy, in ...

A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.

Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finis...