stats-math jokes

If parallel lines meet at infinity - infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines cr...

SAT score decayAs we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years.The following may be the...

Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don't worry, It doesn't have a poi...

"That math prof's marriage is falling apart!"
"No wonder! He's into scientific computing...

Q: Why couldn't the negative pair square things away?
A: Because they had complex issues...

A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, ...

Theorem: All numbers are equal.
Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then
<...

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe....

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She wanted to wake him...

Theorem: 1$ = 1c.
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.

...

Little Johnny was in his math's class one day when the teachersingled him out."If I gave you $20," t...

Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of pr...

Math illiteracy affects eight out of every five people....

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a banana?
A: Elephant banana sin theta...

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objec...

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out.

"If I gave ...

Q: What do you get when you cross a sherpa and a mountain goat?
A: Nothing. you can't cr...

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitc...

How to Hunt Elephants -- Math style Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwingout ev...

One day little john came home with an F on his math test his dad asks

"How did you ge...

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.

|1. They speak only the Greek language.2. They usually have long threatening names such as Bonferonn...

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.

...

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.A student, needi...

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form.

...

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and s...

A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but t...

Silent Labs

Silent labs, difficult labs
All with math, all with graphs
Observations...

Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great at football, but not at academics. The principal ...

Teacher: Are you good at math? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Yes, I'm no ...

Teacher: Are you good at math ? Pupil: Yes and no Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Yes, I'm...

[The following is from rec.humor]

Engineer:4.0000000 x 10^0
Accountant:4, bef...

A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy n...

There was this little black kid in the 2nd grade and on the first day of school they were doing ...

|A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make...

A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student...

|Analysis:1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig.2. Redefine t...

A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student...

'Are you ready to leave?' - Definition of the word 'yes'
Appropriate rhetorical questions ...

A young boy comes home from school & his mother says "What did you do today?"

To whic...

A young boy comes home from school & his mother says "What did you do today?"

To whic...

A ten year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; bu...

Theorem: 4 = 5
Proof:
-20 = -20
16 - 36 = 25 - 45
4^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*5
4^2 - 9*4...

Theorem: 1 + 1 = 2
Proof:
n(2n - 2) = n(2n - 2)
n(2n - 2) - n(2n - 2) = 0
(n - n)(2n...

A ten year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis...

Yes, now women too can enjoy special "just for her" seminars taught by our
all-male faculty....

I have a lot of problems!...

A tax on people who are bad at math....

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?
The wrong answer....

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!...