stats-math jokes

Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences....

Q: What did the circumference of the circle say to its diameter?
A: Hey, do you wanna sh...

Q: Did you hear about the hippy mathematician?
A: Yeah, he likes to keep it natural...

sex is like math. You add the bed, subtract the
clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't m...

Statisticians do it 97.31 percent of the time.

Measure theorists do it almost eve...

Paper or plastic?...

Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x?...

Q: Why was the number zero fired?
A: Because he didn't add any value to the company....

Q: Why did the mathematician's pen run out of ink?
A: Because he was writing in recursiv...

What is the square root of 69?


Ate something....

|A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, e...

one day there was a jewish boy who failed in math.His parents decided to send him to all the gre...

Why is math always sad?Because it has too many problems....

A young boy was in grade four and was having a terrible time with his math.

His paren...

A young boy was in grade four and was having a terrible time with his math.

His paren...

Math 101Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and...

Q: What does a math graduate say to a ...

Q: Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?
A: Because they thought they...

Q: How many sci.math readers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Pi. Two hold the ladde...

If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my statistics class: it would seem so muc...

Q: Why did the mathemetician join a buddhist cult?
A: Because he had a transcendental ex...

This Jewish father wants to send his kid to school, but is not sure where to send him to. Finall...

This Jewish father wants to send his kid to school, but is not sure where to send him to. Finall...

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said,...

Q: Why did the number get mad at his wife?
A: Because she was being irrational....

A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and s...

|Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is gree...

A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player a...

A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player a...

Little Tommy's parents had tried everything to help his math grade:
tutors, flash cards, "...

If parallel lines meet at infinity - infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines cr...

SAT score decayAs we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years.The following may be the...

Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don't worry, It doesn't have a poi...

"That math prof's marriage is falling apart!"
"No wonder! He's into scientific computing...

Q: Why couldn't the negative pair square things away?
A: Because they had complex issues...

A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, ...

Theorem: All numbers are equal.
Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then
<...

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe....

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She wanted to wake him...

Theorem: 1$ = 1c.
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.

...

Little Johnny was in his math's class one day when the teachersingled him out."If I gave you $20," t...

Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of pr...

Math illiteracy affects eight out of every five people....

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a banana?
A: Elephant banana sin theta...

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objec...

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out.

"If I gave ...

Q: What do you get when you cross a sherpa and a mountain goat?
A: Nothing. you can't cr...

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitc...

How to Hunt Elephants -- Math style Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwingout ev...

One day little john came home with an F on his math test his dad asks

"How did you ge...