stats-math jokes

|Theorem: 1 + 1 = 2Proof:n(2n - 2) = n(2n - 2)n(2n - 2) - n(2n - 2) = 0(n - n)(2n - 2) = 02n(n - n) ...

|Theorem: All numbers are equal.Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Thena + b = t(a ...

|Theorem: 4 = 5Proof:-20 = -2016 - 36 = 25 - 454^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*54^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 8...

|Theorem: e=1Proof:2*e = f2^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = 1Therefore:2^(2*pi*i) = f^(2...

|Theorem: log(-1) = 0Proof:a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)On the other hand:b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0...

|Theorem: 1$ = 1c.Proof:And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.1$ = 100c= (10c)^2=...

|Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. If parallel lines meet at infinity - inf...

|Theorem: 3=4Proof:Suppose:a + b = cThis can also be written as:4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3cAfter reo...

|It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who ce...

|Theorem : All numbers are equal to zero.Proof: Suppose that a=b. Thena = ba^2 = aba^2 - b^2 = ab - ...

|Theorem: n=n+1Proof:(n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1Bring 2n+1 to the left:(n+1)^2 - (2n+1) = n^2Substract n...

|Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. I'm probably not at ho...

A young boy was in math class, watching a movie about how when we studied math, it was like we w...

A little girl was failing math. Her mother enrolled her in Catholic school in the hopes to impr...

|Theorem: 1 = 1/2:Proof:We can re-write the infinite series 1/(1*3) + 1/(3*5) + 1/(5*7) + 1/(7*9)+.....

|It is often cited that there are half as many divorces as marriages in the US, so one concludes tha...

|Theorem: 1$ = 10 centProof:We know that $1 = 100 centsDivide both sides by 100$ 1/100 = 100/100 cen...

Q: Why didn't the math student get the new car?
A: Because he couldn't find anybody to c...

Why is a physician held in much higher esteem than a statistician?
A physician makes an a...

|There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before co...

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]....

|Theorem: 1 = -1Proof:1 = sqrt(1) = sqrt(-1 * -1) = sqrt(-1) * sqrt(-1) = 1^ = -1Also one can dispro...

|"Psst, c'mere," said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the...

|A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to ...

|A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. "No ...

|An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep,...

A young boy is doing poorly in math at public school. His mother decides to send him to a privat...

|Theorem: All positive integers are equal.Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive intege...

|Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight...

|. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed2. All polar bears are left-handed3. If your car is...

Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences....

Q: What did the circumference of the circle say to its diameter?
A: Hey, do you wanna sh...

Q: Did you hear about the hippy mathematician?
A: Yeah, he likes to keep it natural...

sex is like math. You add the bed, subtract the
clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't m...

Statisticians do it 97.31 percent of the time.

Measure theorists do it almost eve...

Paper or plastic?...

Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x?...

Q: Why was the number zero fired?
A: Because he didn't add any value to the company....

Q: Why did the mathematician's pen run out of ink?
A: Because he was writing in recursiv...

What is the square root of 69?


Ate something....

|A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, e...

one day there was a jewish boy who failed in math.His parents decided to send him to all the gre...

Why is math always sad?Because it has too many problems....

A young boy was in grade four and was having a terrible time with his math.

His paren...

A young boy was in grade four and was having a terrible time with his math.

His paren...

Math 101Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and...

Q: What does a math graduate say to a ...

Q: Why did the two vectors start an internet-based company?
A: Because they thought they...

Q: How many sci.math readers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Pi. Two hold the ladde...

If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my statistics class: it would seem so muc...