Stats/Math Jokes

|Theorem: All numbers are equal.Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Thena + b = t(a ...

|Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. I'm probably not at ho...

|Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is gree...

|An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep,...

|Theorem: 1$ = 1c.Proof:And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.1$ = 100c= (10c)^2=...

|Theorem: 1$ = 10 centProof:We know that $1 = 100 centsDivide both sides by 100$ 1/100 = 100/100 cen...

|Theorem: All positive integers are equal.Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive intege...

|Theorem: 4 = 5Proof:-20 = -2016 - 36 = 25 - 454^2 - 9*4 = 5^2 - 9*54^2 - 9*4 + 81/4 = 5^2 - 9*5 + 8...

|Theorem: log(-1) = 0Proof:a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)On the other hand:b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0...

|"Psst, c'mere," said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the...

|1. They speak only the Greek language.2. They usually have long threatening names such as Bonferonn...

|Theorem: n=n+1Proof:(n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1Bring 2n+1 to the left:(n+1)^2 - (2n+1) = n^2Substract n...

|Theorem : All numbers are equal to zero.Proof: Suppose that a=b. Thena = ba^2 = aba^2 - b^2 = ab - ...

|Theorem: 1 = 1/2:Proof:We can re-write the infinite series 1/(1*3) + 1/(3*5) + 1/(5*7) + 1/(7*9)+.....

|Theorem: 1 = -1Proof:1 = sqrt(1) = sqrt(-1 * -1) = sqrt(-1) * sqrt(-1) = 1^ = -1Also one can dispro...

|Theorem: 1 + 1 = 2Proof:n(2n - 2) = n(2n - 2)n(2n - 2) - n(2n - 2) = 0(n - n)(2n - 2) = 02n(n - n) ...

|Theorem: e=1Proof:2*e = f2^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = 1Therefore:2^(2*pi*i) = f^(2...

|A shoeseller meets a mathematician and complains that he does not know what size shoes to buy. "No ...

|There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before co...

|Analysis:1. Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig.2. Redefine t...

|A mathematician and a non-mathematician are sitting in an airport hall waiting for their flight to ...

|A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make...

|A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, e...

|It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who ce...

|It is often cited that there are half as many divorces as marriages in the US, so one concludes tha...