sport jokes

What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles? He makes a swish!...

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply ? Paul gas coin !...

What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas ? Ince pies !...

What is a goal keepers favourite snack ? Beans on post !...

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games ? So that they can pack the defence !...

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded ? Bring on their subs !...

Did you hear about the underwater snooker player? He was a pool shark!...

What is a mosquito's favourite sport ? Skin-diving !...

Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs!...

What's the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford!...

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? Sorry, it was a freak hi...

Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!...

What part of a football ground is never the same? The changing rooms!...

Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding? They got jellygated!...

Which insect didn't play well in goal? The fumble bee!...

What are Brazilian fans called? Brazil nuts!...

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch? He was the skipper!...

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final? Webley stadium!...

What is a runner's favourite subject in school? Jog-raphy!...

Why are football players never asked for dinner? Because they're always dribbling!...

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear? Because he liked sole music!...

What's the chilliest ground in the premiership ? Cold Trafford !...

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear ? Because he liked sole music !...

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ? He was the skipper !...

Which insect didn't play well in goal ? The fumble bee !...

Where do spiders play their FA Cup final ? Webley stadium !...

Why are football grounds odd ? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits !...

What part of a football ground is never the same ? The changing rooms !...

Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding ? They got jellygated !...

What is a runner's favourite subject in school ? Jog-raphy !...

Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag? A: The tea bag stays in th...

Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It wa...

What part of a football pitch smells nicest? The scenter spot!...

What is the bank manager's favourite type of football? Fiver side!...

Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space? Because there is no atmosphere!...

Why is it that birds are quickly sold when they come up on the transfer market? They tend to go...

Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb? A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves ...

Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today. "I'll do anything for 3 points...

What part of a football pitch smells nicest ? The scenter spot !...

Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game ? It w...

What is the bank manager's favourite type of football ? Fiver side !...

Q: What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? A: One's a glueless ...

What is the most popular sport played by raindrops and hail stones? -Diving...

Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long...

How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it!...

Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play!...

Where do football directors go when they are fed up? The bored room!...

What is a Chihuahua's favorite sport? Miniature golf!...

How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle? Somebody took a corner!...

Why didn't the dog want to play football? It was a boxer!...