situations

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A jealous husband hires a private detective to check up on his wife. The husband tells the detective...

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about t...

I thought I'd tack on a little humor. I've been far too quiet for far too long. This is really w...

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dea...

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dea...

There was this guy & he had just bought a brand new Farrari F-50 and hewas taking it for a cruise. H...

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the BigBad Wolf crouched down behind ...

Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching...

There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were thencaptured by cannibals. The cannibal ...

An airplane pilot dies at the controls. He goes to Hell. The devil takes him to the 'newly arriv...

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains th...

A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of the sociologists at the stat...

Joan, a rather well-proportioned & near-sighted secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathi...

A man was looking for a cheap prostitute in a brothel.He went up to the pimp, and asked him what he ...

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
How do they get a...

There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and theylived in Honolulu. The poor lady ...

A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple ...

A woman walks into a tattoo parlour and asks 'Do you do custom work?''Why of course!''Good. I'd like...

Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the h...

Things not to Say When Hanging the Lights

Did you know that hanging lights on a C...

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local ...

A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier afterhaving eaten a very expensive lunc...

Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situatio...

The Barber Shop This guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get...

A man stops by a diner at noon, the busiest time of day, sits down at the counter and asks for a cup...

A man goes into a bar and sits down to have a drink....he notices thatat the other end of the bar is...

You might be a redneck if...

You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when ...

Santas DiversionSanta was delivering gifts as usual, when at one house a beautiful young woman wasaw...

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date.He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. W...

The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a womanjust passing and said, "Pa...

Well the King's daughter was into her mid twenties,and the king didn't want his princess to be an ol...

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his j...

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?Why isn't phonetic s...

Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, "What's wrong?What's the emergency?""Oh, Mister Smith, ...

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency,were traveling together through ...

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.He rolls over and looks at h...

Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband,John, was at work. One day she was in bed...

While enjoying a drink with a mate one night, this bloke decides to try his luck with an attractive ...

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As hesat down, he knocked the spoon off t...

Ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch.Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Min...

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive ?

An old sailing ship is becalmed at sea with a full complement of sailors. They are stuck there for d...

A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder. Looking up, he sees that the ladder dis...

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful youngwoman was waiting for the bus. She was dec...

These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a...

Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking or a big lunch, the outcome is the same: Farts...

Whether the cause is a previous night of drinking or a big lunch, the outcome is the same: Farts...

The Pilots One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting ...