political jokes

Q: What does Hillary have in common with the city of Buffalo?
A: They both have Bills that ar...

You argue that you need 300 semi-automatic assault rifles, in case a squirrel ever attacks your ...

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual devianc...

"Bill and Hillary have provided the special prosecutor with every shred of evidence they have." ...

Q: What would one get with a donation to Rostenkowski's legal fund?
A: A free stamp....

Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?
A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep a...

Q: Why is Chelsea growing up a confused child?
A: Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom...

Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?
A: To promote off-shore drilling....

Q: What's the best job a dumb blonde ever had?
A: Vice-president of the United States....

Q: Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely?
A: Because if something happens to h...

Did you hear it took three secret service agents to hold Hillary's hand down during the swearing...

Q: Why did Ted Kennedy spend four hours in the voting booth?
A: He thought he was in a confes...

Q: What do call someone who sees the glass in front of him half full?
A: An optimist....

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two--One to promise he'll do...

Q: What is the difference between TV characters Dan and Roseanne Conner and the Clintons?
A: ...

Tumor: More than one

Urine: Opposite of you're out

Varicose: Nearby

Vein: C...

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch lives in a trash can "because he is lazy and doesn't...

Q: If Bill and Hillary jumped together off the Washington monument, who'd land first?
A: Who ...

Q: What is the difference between TV characters Dan and Roseanne Conner and the Clintons?
A: ...

Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
A: Put Janet Reno in ...

Q: What are the administration's favorite words in foreign policy?
A: We have not ruled out m...

Q: Well, then what do you call someone who sees the glass in front of him as half empty?
A: T...

Q. You're in a room with George Bush, Mikhial Gorbachev and Boris Yeltsin, and
you have a...

Q: What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect?
A: E...

Q: What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common?
A: They were both cooked...

Q: What Biblical and Renaissance characters does Hillary most resemble?
A: Jezebel and Lucret...

Q: How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?
A: He's the stiff one....

Credit to Molly Ivins:

"I never thought much of Pat Buchanan until I heard one of ...

Q: What was the real purpose of Bill's college visit to Moscow?
A: To study economics....

Q: What did Teddy Kennedy say when he heard of JFK's assassination?
A: He couldn't have been ...

Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called?
A: The whine cellar....

Q: Why did the Clintons switch from MCI to AT&T?
A: They didn't have enough friends left to m...

What should be the official name for Bill & Hillary Clinton's New York abode?

Th...

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
A: T...

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
A: B...

Q: If Rodham gets health care, Bentsen gets treasury, and Aspin gets defense, what does Gore get...

Q: Why is Perot's wife glad he didn't get elected?
A: If he won, they would have to move to a...

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
A: R...

Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf?
A: Dep...

Q: What does Jeffrey Dahmer's victims and The Clintons' hair styles have in common?
A: They b...

[Post 1994 Election aftermath]
I hear that thousands of rafts overflowing with Democrats are ...

Q: How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to sen...

Republicans say "Merry Christmas!" Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"...

Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans, but they don't ad...

Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? A: A mandate to govern....

Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an ...

Q: What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee--If No Recover...

Q: Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1? A: For spare parts....

Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you too!...

Q: What has dual airbags and has lots of room? A: The White House....