Unless you're the lead dog, your view doesn't change....
one liners jokes
A successful man is a clod just like you who worked harder....
If you were to strangle a Smurf, what color would it
turn?...
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check....
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist....I will give up my
One Liners jokes
15 hits
I will give up my pun when they pry my cold, dead zingers from around it....
"Rap" is to "music" as "Etch-A-Sketch" is to "fine art"....
We must silence those who oppose freedom of speech....It is better to rule
One Liners jokes
58 hits
It is better to rule in hell, then to serve in Heaven....
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn....
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?...
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants....
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that
nobody appreciates how diffi...If we learn by our
One Liners jokes
51 hits
If we learn by our mistakes then I am getting a fantastic education....
I'd rather have lobsters on my piano than crabs on my organ...
It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop....
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in
their stomach?...
I feel much better,
now that I've given up hope.
-Ashleigh Bri...Once a job is fouled
One Liners jokes
38 hits
Once a job is fouled up,
anything done to improve it will make it worse....Traintracks
One Liners jokes
12 hits
Ya mamma is like traintracks....
She gets laid around the country!
...
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory....
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves,
for they shall never cease to be amused....
Another 12-step program
and I still can't dance....
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick
you when you're down will be the...
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?...
The rich are nothing but poor people with Yachts....
Then there was the undertaker who signed all his letters with "Eventually
yours."...
The problem with getting a life is making the payments....
Most of my faults
are not my fault.
-Ashleigh Brillian...
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself,
hire someone, or forbid your k...
If there was a bi-sexual pride parade, would it go both ways?...
Why do we drive on the parkways, and park on the driveways?...
When you drive you put your life in your foot's hands....
Although the moon is less than half the size of the earth,
it is further away....
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy....
Psychiatrists say that one out of five people are mentally ill. If
four of your friends ...
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill....E.T. is short for?
One Liners jokes
92 hits
Question: What's E.T. short for?
Answer: Because he has little legs!
...
Ask not for whom the bell tolls,
and you will pay only the station-to-station rate....
The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy....Ever decide to run a
One Liners jokes
58 hits
Ever decide to run a red light, and the guy in front of you chickens out?...24 hours in a day...
One Liners jokes
100 hits
24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence?...In looking at a drop
One Liners jokes
41 hits
In looking at a drop of water under a microscope,
we find there are twice as many H's as O...
I've never seen a woman make a fool out of a man without a lot of cooperation....20 Ft Long
One Liners jokes
188 hits
What's twenty feet long and smells like urine?
A crowd of old people line dancing.
...When I hear on the
One Liners jokes
10 hits
When I hear on the news about someone being killed "execution style," it
makes me wonder w...Womens Panties
One Liners jokes
48 hits
Know what to call the stuff that collects in the crotch of a woman's panties?
Clitty litt...
