miscellaneous

A neatly dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked -"Sir, would you like to buy a a bot...

There was a hooker with a bunch of other hookers. The police came, and said for all of the girls to ...

This machine is subject to breakdown during periods of critical need. A special circuit in the machi...

There was a Rabbi whose wife was expecting a baby.The Rabbi went to the congregation and asked for a...

A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"After thinking ...

While going through his wife's dresser drawers, a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope c...

A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar.T...

Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that t...

A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in tow...

1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know w...

President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter. "It's ...

Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he cou...

Make the world your playground.Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it h...

A few children's books that didn't make the cut:1. You Are Different and That's Bad 2. The Boy Who D...

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.The first wa...

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver."Ma'am,...

10. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.9. Instead of an air bag, the...

From Matt Groening's very funny "Big Book Of Hell", here are some philosophical theories shared by y...

Halloween Funnies:What do Skeletons say before eating? Bone Appetite.What do blondes and Jack-O-Lant...

TOP TEN things men would do if they woke up and had a vagina for a day:10. Immediately go shopping f...

"Ways You Can Tell Your Pilot is on Drugs"10. All the in-flight meals are missing their dessert squa...

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he fall...

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.I'm not into working out. My p...

Bumper stickers seen this weekend .....You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.I ha...

1. Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay.2. There would be a cure for stretch marks....

He said.. I don't know why you wear a bra you've got nothing to put in it. She said..You wear briefs...

Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress h...

George Bush: When you rearrange the letters: He Bugs GoreDormitory: When you rearrange the letters: ...

What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy...

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by peop...

Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach.The girl lobster suggested that the boy lobster go get the...

James and Beverly Jenkins had been married for twelve years when they mutually agreed to end it and ...

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'l...

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't i...

How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?Guilt gifts are nicer...

How do you get a one-armed nufie out of a tree? Wave!How do you get a two-armed nufie out of a tree?...

A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand.The turtle's one eye is black and blue, two...

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the...

Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He ...

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender...Brunette: "I'll have a ...

A professor invented a lie detecting chair. Whenever anybody sitting in it told a lie, the chair wou...

A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting read...

An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old m...

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was toldby his boss to lay off one of ...

This lady went to a tattoo artist and told him she wanted a turkey tattooed on the upper most inner ...

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all...

Me: Hey, Donna, how do you make a blonde laugh twice in a row? Donna: I dunno. How? Me: Tell her the...

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.A small tree begins to grow between th...

Harry is on his death bed, his wife Zelda is by his side:"Zelda, you've always been by my side""When...

A guy goes to his high school class reunion. Having not seen anyone in twenty-five years he's very c...