miscellaneous

Q. How many animals can you get into one pair of pantyhose? A. Several. Ten little piggies, two calv...

Your mamma is so fat, when daddy told her to haul ass she had to make two trips!...

Student: Can I use the bathroom?Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRS...

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator??A: Why the hell are you shaking? Shes gonna eat me!...

What is the difference between a man and a carp??One is a scum sucking bottom feeder, and one is a f...

Your mamma's so stupid she locked her self in a bathroom and peed her pants!...

Yo momma so damn heavy that when she stands on the scales to get weighed it says "TO BE CONTINUED!"...

What is 6 inches long.....Has a big head....Woman love it????? A $100 dollar bill!...

yo momma's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose!...

Knock Knock.Who's there?StanStan who?Stan back or I'll be sick on your shoe!!!!...

Having lawyers create laws is like have doctors create diseases!...

Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the ty...

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?A: A Space Invader....

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?A: They make good ankle warmers....

Two nuns riding down a cobbled road on bicycles. First one says to the other, "I've never come this ...

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?Because the snowblower was coming down the block....

Why did the woman cross the road?Who cares? What the hell was she doing out of the kitchen?!!...

What do ceramic tile and men have in common?If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on th...

Why are some men uncircumcised?The doctors were afraid of causing brain damage to the infant....

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiec...

How are a husband and a cat similar when it comes to housework?They're both afraid of the vacuum cle...

Father: If I had ten oranges and gave you two, how many would I have left?Son: I don't know, because...

At the marriage counselor's office, the woman complained, "What's-his-name here says I don't give hi...

Husband: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.Wife: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave t...

One way to live together and never have an argument is for both husband and wife to be hard-of-heari...

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin. Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish!...

What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?One looks up the family tree and the...

Doctor, don't cut so deep. That's the third operating table you've ruined this month!...

Patient: Tell me, doctor. Is it serious? Doctor: Well, I wouldn't advise you to start watching any s...

Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in? Doctor: A shoebox?...

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?Nurse: No change yet...

Why do they name cyclones after women?Because they start off as little blow jobs and end up taking t...

Q: What's the difference between the dinosaur and a dragon...?A: Dinosaurs are too young to SMOKE!...

Why do bald men have holes in their trouser pockets? So they can runtheir fingers through their hair...

Q.What do you call a buncha Blondes in a freezer???A. Frosted Flakes...

Why didn't the mouse cross the road?It's cord wasn't long enough!...

I took one of those viagra tablets the other day, it got stuck in my throat and I had a stiff neck f...

Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other?A: "We'd better get some support or people are gonna thi...

Q: Hey... Did you here about the new Episcopal Church that justopened up?A: They are so liberal that...

Q: How do you drown a blonde?A: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool....

Tree 1 "Hey look, Mother Nature's coming!"Tree 2 "Look busy."...

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost fucking impossible!...

Buckwheat from the Little Rascals became a Muslim.Now they call him Kareem of Wheat!...

What do you call 32 hillbillies standing in line?A full set of teeth!...

Your mamma's so fat when she wears a yellow rain coast outside I yell "TAXI!"...

ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK:12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday 20% Thursday 5% Friday...

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?A: Because al...

What does a smart man do with 365 used rubbers?? Makes it a tire and calls it a Good Year....

Q: What nationality are you if you're going to the bathroom? A: EuropeanQ: And what nationality are ...

Q: What's the difference between a faggot and a queer?A: A faggot won't go downtown with you to beat...