miscellaneous

This Zen Buddhist Monk walks up to a hotdog stand and says to the vender, "Give me one with everythi...

Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.They had worked for months gath...

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. Af...

The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Ever...

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonosc...

Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading ...

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy...

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love fo...

Yo mama's so hairy...- Yo mama's so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower. - Yo ma...

A local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. After a series...

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people -- you are obnoxious in a different and wor...

While your child is on his lap, he tells them they're not getting his Bud Light. You see his sleigh ...

A woman goes into a bar and orders a beer. She grabs the beer and tips it down the back of her skirt...

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a dept. store and asks -"W-w-w-wh...

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The docto...

A blonde was standing in front of a pop machine. Her boyfriend looks over and hears her screaming at...

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so really far out and ...

Some years ago, on Times Square in NYC, I observed a native American, in full Indian regalia, feathe...

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.Th...

A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog ...

What is a computer's first sign of old age? Loss of memory. What does a baby computer call his fathe...

A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face."Say Mom, why is my bigger b...

An accountant decided to leave his wife one day.He left her a note saying:"Dear Jane, I am 54 years ...

Two girls were roommates.One evening, Millie came running in, shedding clothes on the way to the bat...

A blonde girl goes into a hair salon and she's wearing earphones connected to her walkman.She tells ...

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But, officer...

In Fairbanks it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. While it is legal t...

NoticeTo make things easier for all of us, please notice this Important NoticeAbout Notices. You ma...

A husband and wife are getting ready to go to bed.The husband says, "I thought we'd have sex tonight...

Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?A1:10. One to mix the dough and nine...

Yours was an unnatural birth you came from a human being. You have nothing to fear from my base inst...

Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth. His restrooms are labeled "Bleeders" and "Non-Bleeders" Pumps ...

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.He says,"What are you doing?"She a...

Q: You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there? A: He's the one with a duck.Q: How do...

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, ...

Otis, Henry, and Tom were sitting in a bar discussing their wives. Henry started by saying, "I think...

3 nurses go into the morgue, and there's a dead man's body lying there, with an erection.The first n...

Pat and Mike work at the Guinness Brewery, and one day there's an accident.Pat calls Mike's wife, Ma...

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas st...

One day a Blonde and a Brunette were driving through the country..The Brunette noticed a woman over ...

A wife arrived home and found her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength borne ...

Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to fi...

Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip toLouisiana. He immediately sent ...

THE Top Ten Reasons Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex:10. Guaranteed to get at least a little som...

A lawyer's car stalled on the side of the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter,...

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pubtogether. The proceeded to each ...

A man and his son were traveling to the bank one Saturday morning when they stopped at a corner. The...

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to v...

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "MAN, That is the ugliest baby I've EVER s...

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Squad Helps Dog Bite V...