miscellaneous

Airport immigration......NAME:Muhammed al FacidSEX:Yes 3 times a week.NO I MEAN FEMALE OR MALE:Oh th...

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writ...

Take the test...NO CHEATING!What does: A woman do sitting down? A man do standing up? A dog do on th...

What do men have difficulty retaining?a) a job b) a budget c) a promise d) a secret e) a friendship ...

If you constantly hear a married man brag about how he runs everything around the house, you can be ...

What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's Disease?1: You can hide your own Easter eggs. 2: You ...

I noticed my husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his ample stomach.Thinking he was tr...

Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland?The Polish officials ha...

"It's just to hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower."Honey, what do ...

I, Caesar, when I heard of the fame To Cleopatra I straightway laid claim Ahead of my legions I inva...

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and NobodyThis is a story about four people named Everbody, Somebody, ...

A blonde was filling out a job application form. She quickly filled out the columns entitled: Name, ...

English..... Spanish..... Te Amo French...... Je T'aime German...... Ich Liebe Dich Japanese.... Ai...

There are a lot of folks that can't understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA.Well, here's th...

"Bloody Stump" by: Rusty Zipper"Sliding Down a Flagpole" by: Dick Burns"Brown Spots on the Wall" By:...

Gross is having to tuck your hemorrhoid into your sock so you won't step onit when you walk....

Waiter to customer: "Our specialty is snails.""I know. One of them served me the last time I was her...

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?Four. Actually, only one to screw it in. The othe...

Q: Why don't blondes double their recipes?A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees....

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin...

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk....

How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail? Envelopes in the disk drive....

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, "Look at that dog with one eye!" T...

What's the advantage of being married to a blonde? You can park in handicapped zones....

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" He...

You might be a redneck if you go to your family reunion to meet women!...

Q: How do you define confusion??A: A blind lesbian in a fish market!...

Q: Did you hear about the Indian who drank 200 cups of tea?A: He drowned in his TeePee!...

Q: Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?A: Just in case he got a hole-in-one!...

Your momma is so fat, she was swimming in the ocean and all the whales started singing, "we are fami...

Q. How many animals can you get into one pair of pantyhose? A. Several. Ten little piggies, two calv...

Your mamma is so fat, when daddy told her to haul ass she had to make two trips!...

Student: Can I use the bathroom?Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRS...

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator??A: Why the hell are you shaking? Shes gonna eat me!...

What is the difference between a man and a carp??One is a scum sucking bottom feeder, and one is a f...

Your mamma's so stupid she locked her self in a bathroom and peed her pants!...

Yo momma so damn heavy that when she stands on the scales to get weighed it says "TO BE CONTINUED!"...

What is 6 inches long.....Has a big head....Woman love it????? A $100 dollar bill!...

yo momma's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington's nose!...

Knock Knock.Who's there?StanStan who?Stan back or I'll be sick on your shoe!!!!...

Having lawyers create laws is like have doctors create diseases!...

Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the ty...

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?A: A Space Invader....

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?A: They make good ankle warmers....

Two nuns riding down a cobbled road on bicycles. First one says to the other, "I've never come this ...

Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?Because the snowblower was coming down the block....

Why did the woman cross the road?Who cares? What the hell was she doing out of the kitchen?!!...

What do ceramic tile and men have in common?If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on th...

Why are some men uncircumcised?The doctors were afraid of causing brain damage to the infant....

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiec...