miscellaneous

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami.They had been meeting in...

Newly assigned officers at Norfolk Naval Air Station here in Virginia are quite often "adopted" by a...

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The roo...

This long line of people are queueing up to get served in a shop. Suddenly one bloke starts massagin...

Man goes to the bar and says "bartender, give me 7 shots of Vodka." The bartender says "Ok, but pal ...

M: I know how to please a woman.W: Then please leave me alone.M: I want to give myself to you.W: Sor...

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash veget...

Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worryworry worry"A: Fun period fun perio...

Income tax examiner: What's your husband's average income?Wife: Oh, about midnight....

What did the rain cloud wear under his rain coat?Answer: Thunder wear!...

You're a redneck if...-You have more fingers than you do teeth-You cut your grass and find a car-You...

The top 10 inventions by Blondes:1) The water-proof towel 2) Solar powered flashlight 3) Submarine s...

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, respect her, honor her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, lov...

An Irishman who had a little to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his ca...

The Minnesota Fish and Game Comission wanted to develop a fish that would offer more for their sport...

On the eve of his wedding night, a confused young man calls his father to ask him about his upcoming...

Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill blonde appeared in...

There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court.The judge says, "do ...

A woman and her daughter go to the store to get the daughter a Barbie. At the store, the daughter as...

by : Tina Mancuso and Paul Coen 10. Watch the bag fill. 9. Hyperventilate. 8. Pull the tube out of t...

A recent survey carried out by a leading soft drink manufacturer inDisneyland produced some strange ...

A frustrated wife decided her sex life needed spicing up.After work, she went shopping and picked up...

A distraught man went to a psychiatrist and exclaimed, "Doctor, I believe that I am possessed by an ...

Little Susie was Mommy's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Soon, eve...

Stallone, Tony Danza ,and Arnold Swarzanagger are all going to be in a musical about famous composer...

Father Murphy was ministering to a man on his deathbed."Renounce Satan!" yelled Father Sullivan."No!...

PROOF THAT BILL GATES IS THE ANTICHRISTConversion to ASCII values:MS-DOS 6. 2177 83 45 68 79 83 32 5...

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. O...

This guy goes to the doctor for a vasectomy. Unlike the usual patients, he shows up in a limo, and h...

There was once was a blonde woman who had just bought a house.She called it Harrybutt.She had a chil...

Once there were 3 Chinese mothers in a church.They always liked to compete with their sons.First mot...

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pa...

"Doctor Doctor i feel like a bridge!""What's come over you?""2 buses, 3 motorbikes and a train.""Doc...

Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor."Do you wash?" the doctor asked the smelly young gi...

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays.Af...

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroo...

They are: Her Doctor; he says, "Take your clothes off."Her Dentist; he says, "Open wide."Her Veterin...

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist."I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that...

A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring.So she called the doctor one morning, and...

Top 10 things NOT to say to parents when picking up a date.10. "Sorry I'm a little late. I had to s...

First Convict: I heard the Warden's daughter up and married a guy down on Cellblock D. The Warden's ...

What is the difference in a Knights of Columbus and a Shriner? Answer: A Knight is once a knight ,al...

These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and all came home at ...

Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?A: A quarter-pounder with cheese....

A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter, 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup!' The waiter replie...

Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away.The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes....

What did the blind man say when he was handed a cheese grater? - "Thats the most violent book I...

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?A rash of good luck....

What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?Snoop in your medicine cabinet....

How many polish people does it take to milk a cow?9, four to hold the legs, four to hold the udders,...