miscellaneous

Deep in the woods sat a bear and a squirrel at the communal latrine. "Hmmm" says the bear to the squ...

This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket.That's the price you pay for l...

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?A1: She'd just dyed her hair.A2: She'd just...

What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?They go into ...

Why did the carload of lesbians get to San Francisco faster than the carload of gays?The lesbians go...

What's the difference between an English Sheepherder and Mick Jagger?Mick Jagger sings "Hey, Hey, yo...

An old guy is sitting on a bus when a punk-rocker gets on. The punkrocker's hair is red, green, yell...

My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six- year-old daughter and sa...

A Blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his ...

A blonde and brunette were walking down the road.The brunette see's her husband, and he is carrying ...

What do you get when you cut a banana in two?A BANANA SPLIT!...

Q. What did God say after creating Adam A. I must be able to do better than that. Q. How do you get ...

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.When Adam stayed out very late for a few nig...

10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"9. "Luke, at that speed do you thi...

An old man and women are going out for a meal to celebrate there 50th anniversary.The old man is get...

A little boy and a little girl, on a beach, are arguing. Little boy says to the little girl, "I have...

Guy goes to the pharmacy at his wife's request to buy her some tampons. About an hour later he comes...

Clinton and Gore went to a diner to get a bite to eat.A good looking waitress comes up and asks, "Ca...

Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.To prove their theo...

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his b...

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport."These hills are ge...

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car."They've stolen the dashboard, the ...

The Shoplifter...A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelr...

You'd never believe it, but I bumped into a famous stuntman in a motorcycle shop the other day.He wa...

An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand.A cop on the beat se...

"Oh, Laura!" cried her neighbor, "I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. He was s...

After her operation, the famous lady soap opera star was propped up in bed in her private room, as t...

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party.Then he had...

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get...

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen."What's wrong ...

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch mysel...

The car sped off the highway, went through the guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree an...

A blonde goes to a doctor and tells him that both her ears are burnt. 'Sit down and tell me how it h...

A Polish man was walking down the street, carrying a brown paper bag. He ran into one of his friends...

For those of you about to become first-time fathers, you should know something that us old pros do: ...

What goes "errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh? A blonde at ablinking red light!...

Why is the White House called the White House?Answer: Sperm ain't purple!...

How many seconds are in a year? Answer: There are 12 seconds in a year. January 2nd, February 2nd, M...

This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and...

Boss: Johnson, we giving you a promotion but you have to move to Montreal. Johnson: Montreal! "Nothi...

We have a tree in our yard, terribly bothered by blight.We sought professional help and had a tree s...

"I'm worried," said the woman to her sex therapist. "I happened to find my daughter and the little b...

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfu...

Mrs. Whembleton decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond ea...

Top 10 reasons computers must be male:1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.2. A better ...

What's the definition of a perfect woman?a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat...

There where two snakes talking.The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselve...

A New York lawyer sent gifts to many of his clients.The gifts were sleeves of golf balls, suitably i...

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods.The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you ha...

Joe, the neighborhood chronic borrower approached his neighbor, "Ray, may I borrow your axe?" "Not ...