miscellaneous

What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?A cock that sticks to the roof of your mo...

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.Cop: Do ...

Q: Why do blondes use tampons with extra long strings?A: So the crabs can go bungee-jumping....

Why are complaints of married people like the noise of the waves on the shore?Because they are murmu...

Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a...

Q: How do you know you've been kidnapped by a redneck?A: He's asking 2 million dollars ransom in unm...

-What makes Britain so strong? -It?s the two-party system. One bigparty on every friday and another ...

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thoug...

The confused young man couldn't decide whether to marry Kathryn or Edith. Try as he might, he just c...

Having spent half the night discussing involvement vs. commitment (one of my favorite topics when I'...

A guy goes into a supermarket and buys: * one tin of beans * one bag of chips * one pack of burgers ...

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going tomeet a beautiful young girl who ...

A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she's deciding on what she wants a wai...

If there was an animal called Yabba Dabba, and if you decided keep it as a pet it your back yard, yo...

Kids: "Hello Miss Saunders, can Johnny come out to play?" Mother: "I am sorry kids but you know John...

What is easier to fill a dump truck up with.. dead babies or bowling balls?Dead babies.. because you...

Hey bob,"Will you rember me tomorrow??" "Yes" "Will you rember me next week??" "Yes" "Will you rembe...

Names to Use in Prank Calls Hugh G. Rection ...

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselin...

A man hasn't been feling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor...

A doctor walks into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his s...

"You used to hold my hand years ago when we were courting," she said as they were side by side in be...

"I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," the young man said, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but...

After an accident, a woman stepped forward and prepared to help the victim. She was asked to step as...

A Soviet emigre doctor gets a call from the Medicaid office. "You've been billing us for weekly hous...

A man has to leave the country on business and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping a...

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.Answering, he heard his wife's ...

1. I want you almost as much as I want world peace.2. You can forget about going to heaven because i...

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman sea...

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. Afte...

While her husband was lying down, his wife removed his glasses. "You know, honey," she said sweetly,...

An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been ar...

The U.S. Treasury has just announced that it will sell three new types of bonds:1. The Al Gore bond,...

Bridegroom: "Dear, we've been back from the Caribbean for a month now. We've been in our apartment n...

A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. "Young lady," said the doc...

Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?The Newfies were lobbing hand grenad...

Mum caught little Johnny jerking his meat off one day.She told him - "Johnny dearest, good boys save...

On Jeopardy...TREBEK: The category is "Political Subversion". The answer is: Thisentity is dedicate...

If Sony made toasters...Their Sony Toastman, which would be barely larger thanthe single piece of br...

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him a...

A guy came home to his wife and said to her: "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 AM start, 2 P...

After a meeting with the Pope, Bill Clinton held a press conferenceand announced that they had a ver...

One Day The President was out jogging without his guards.All of a sudden a man with a ski mask jumpe...

From Reader's Digest, June 1992:I grew up in a non-musical family; only one of our five siblings can...

An acher of bacteriologists A murmur of cardiologists A stain of cytotechnologists A rash of dermato...

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, th...

Howard Dean's wife held a press conference today where she announced that until the election is over...

Is there a 12 step, support group, or such?For those of us folks who chat on line too much?If there ...

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as ...

Did you hear about the three ministers who were talking about their common problem with bats in the ...