miscellaneous

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made awish and threw in a penny.The wife...

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary.The old ...

You're momma so fat, she be sellin' shade!You're momma so ugly, she walked down the street and got a...

Spinach flavored Rice Cakes. Teeth removing Taffy Metamucil in a straw Ex-Lax Brownies Caramel Cover...

In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes Unembarrassed to wear fur. No need to worry about tax ret...

Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because it more c...

01. -You've got a hole in your head. 02. -Your master strangles you all the time. 03. -Your head is ...

OK, let's consider the physical evidence.The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable dist...

A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questi...

One day a little old nun was going 35 miles an hour down the highway. The cop pulled her over becaus...

Two kids were having the standard argument about whose father could beat up whose father.One boy sai...

An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars a...

1) I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy!2) Shouldn't you be out drinking with your friends?3) Great fart!...

Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep instead of just six? Because deep down they really are good peop...

Q.What's te best pick up line in any state below the Mason-Dixon line? A.Get in the truck!...

What is the difference between a lawyer and a sperm?At least a sperm has a one in one million chance...

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope ...

Why do men fart more than women?Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure....

Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says, "So you would love her.""But ...

Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory? Patient: What pills?...

Patient walks into a doctor's office. Patient: Doctor, people ignore me. Doctor: Next!...

God made oceans, God made lakes, God made NSYNC but hey, we all makemistakes!!!!...

What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?MMmmmm, tastes like chicken!...

More cool than funny, but... racecar <===> racecar drawer <===> reward repaid <===> diaper straw <==...

A Polak was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued.His attackers then p...

A doctor rushed out of his study room. "Get me my bag!" he shouted. "Why, what's the matter?" inquir...

One guy says to another guy, "Mandelbaum and Rosenstern were talking one day..."Right away, his frie...

Okay, so this blonde is driving by in his red sports car, and he seesanother blonde rowing with oars...

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?A pool table....

What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?IleneWhat do you call a Chinese girl wit...

What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?A cock that sticks to the roof of your mo...

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.Cop: Do ...

Q: Why do blondes use tampons with extra long strings?A: So the crabs can go bungee-jumping....

Why are complaints of married people like the noise of the waves on the shore?Because they are murmu...

Do you know what it means to come home to a man who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a...

Q: How do you know you've been kidnapped by a redneck?A: He's asking 2 million dollars ransom in unm...

-What makes Britain so strong? -It?s the two-party system. One bigparty on every friday and another ...

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thoug...

The confused young man couldn't decide whether to marry Kathryn or Edith. Try as he might, he just c...

Having spent half the night discussing involvement vs. commitment (one of my favorite topics when I'...

A guy goes into a supermarket and buys: * one tin of beans * one bag of chips * one pack of burgers ...

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going tomeet a beautiful young girl who ...

A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some lunch, and while she's deciding on what she wants a wai...

If there was an animal called Yabba Dabba, and if you decided keep it as a pet it your back yard, yo...

Kids: "Hello Miss Saunders, can Johnny come out to play?" Mother: "I am sorry kids but you know John...

What is easier to fill a dump truck up with.. dead babies or bowling balls?Dead babies.. because you...

Hey bob,"Will you rember me tomorrow??" "Yes" "Will you rember me next week??" "Yes" "Will you rembe...

Names to Use in Prank Calls Hugh G. Rection ...

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselin...

A man hasn't been feling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward the doctor...