miscellaneous

Here's one for you...what do men and linoleum have in common?If you lay them right the first time, y...

What is the prudent thing to do when someone has an epileptic seizure in a hot tub?Toss in your laun...

Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock.A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises....

They say that men only think about sex. That's not exactly true.They also care a lot about power, wo...

A man can actually cater to a woman's every need, so long as all that she wants is to have sex, go t...

"Come on, Steve," one guy said to another at the gym, "your wife is not as bad as you say. What woul...

A doctor pulls out a thermometer from his shirt pocket. He looks at it and says, "Shit, some asshole...

What do you call a blonde behind a stearingwheel? An airbag!...

Why was the bee flying around with his legs crossed? He couldn't find a BP station!...

Your Momma's so fat, the National Weather service had to label her body parts!...

Something to ponder... Do the workers at the Lipton factory get acoffee break?...

Why don't women need to wear watches?Theres a clock on the oven!...

Why does Hillary Clinton Wake Up At 5:30 Every Morning?To Make Sure That She Is The First Lady!...

What did 1 strawberry say to another?Answer, if you weren't so fresh you wouldn't be in this jam!...

What do you call a blonde that dies her hair Brown? Artificialintelligence!...

How can you tell if a blonde stuffs her bra? They'll be square because they forget to take the Klenn...

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her....

Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties?To find a tight Seal....

She offered her honor, He honored her offer, And so all night long,it was on-her and off-er!...

Ever walk into a room and forget what you came in for?Well, that's probably how dogs spend most of t...

What have an apple and an orange got in common?Neither of them can drive a tractor!...

You should "never" drink during tax season."You might shoot at tax collectors and miss!"...

A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west and siddles up to the bar and announces: "I'm...

Q: Did you hear about the new automatic parachutes, invented by a blond? A: They open on impact....

Did you hear about the blonde who took a book out of the library called , only to discover that it w...

Two potatoes are standing on the street corner.How can you tell which one is the prostitute?It's the...

Why do black men not go square dancing?Every time some one yells "hoe down", they turn to see if the...

Q: How do you babysit black kids?A: Wet their lips and stick them to the wall!...

Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax nowin effect in Canada) A: Because th...

A guy walks up to his friend ans says ''why do you have 'R' and 'L' on your hands?''He replies ''So ...

Down in Arkansas, they say that custom has changed little. Many a man still sleeps with a battle-axe...

A husband and wife were fighting about their sex life."You never even tell me when you're having an ...

1) Never eat at a place called Mom's 2) Never play cards with a man named 'Doc' 3) Never get in bed ...

Prisoner: Look here, doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys...

Q. Why are Australians like kiwifruit?A. Because they are rough on the outside, green on the inside....

What do you call a dead athiest?All dressed up and no place to go!...

A nude jogger was running past two old women.One had a stroke, the other missed!...

Why did the Priest wear underwear in the shower?He didn't want to look down on the unemployed...

What is Bill Clinton's favorite web browser? Microsoft Intern Exploiter...

Q: Why do so many Polish navy personnel drown? A: Because when the engine stops, they all have to ge...

Question: Why did the hamster cross the road?Answer: Because it was stuck in the Chicken's ass!...

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?He sold his soul to Santa!...

What did the baby chick say to his mummy when she laid an Orange?" Look what Marma-Lade!! "...

Whats the most embrassing thing for a cheerleader?When she does the splits and 8 class rings fall ou...

A man frantically calls 911 and says, "help...my wife has gone into labor and her contractions are 1...

He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.She: Well, you ...

Once heard from a girl who just broke up with someone:My old boyfriend and I weren't compatible. I'm...

After having quadruplets, the mother named them... Adolph, Rudolph, Getoff, and Stayoff....

A LITTLE SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT:Assume you drive your car at light speed. What happens when you tu...

Yo' Mamma is so ugly, I went into your house saw her TV was covered with cockroaches!I asked her wha...