miscellaneous

A guy goes to the doctor with a mysterious pain and tells the doctor,"Doctor, my penis has been burn...

Patient: Doctor, ya gotta help me. Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm. Doctor: Really! What are y...

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?One is made of plastic and is danger...

One day a burnette and a blond lady were walking through the park. All-of-a-sudden, the burnette sto...

A new neigbour arrives. The kids meet.The local kid:"My mom was born in California!Where was your mo...

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?A1: I don't know, there are some things even...

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?A: A refrigerator doesn't fart when yo...

Difference Between A Computer And A Woman:A computer will not laugh at a three-and-a-half-inch flopp...

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted! or You can shoot outlaws!...

I saw my old girlfriend the other day and she had her wedding ring on the wrong finger.When I pointe...

How do you tell the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at the mental hospital?The...

Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?A: A hooker can clean her crack and rese...

Question: Do you know the difference between mono & herpes?Answer: You get mono from snatching a kis...

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded ...

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get t...

This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop.He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over.He goes u...

One day a mother and father were having sex and their son walked in. "What are you doing, the kid as...

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2 2?" The housewife replies: "Four!"...

An elderly woman rushed up the stairs to the church, late for the wedding. An usher asked to see her...

Two friends are shopping in a drugstore when one of them tells the other, "My husband says this bran...

Watching her mother as she tried on her new mink coat, the daughter protested, "Mom, do you realize ...

I received a letter from my bank the other day, telling me,"This is the last time we're going to spe...

A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. Which made it to the ground first?...

Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?Because they were originally m...

The men who do make it to Heaven are going to have a rude awakening up there when they find out two ...

How many male chauvinistic pigs does it take to change a light bulb?None. Let the bitch do it by her...

If I want it, it's mine.If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine.If I can take it awa...

Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. I eat ba...

Q: What's the difference between a McDonalds Hamburger and Bill Clinton?A: Some people in Arkansas h...

Clinton was asked who was a better lover: Monica Lewinsky or Paula Jones.His response: Paula was goo...

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathl...

This particular Wizard worked in a modern factory. Everything was satisfactory except that certain m...

And then there's little Johnny who one night woke up to go the bathroom and passed by his parents do...

What did God say after he created man?"I can do better than this" and he made woman.But the disrupti...

A woman has just started to play golf when she gets stung on the arm by a bee. She rushes back to th...

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes whod...

My girlfriend and I were in a restaurant and this strikingly attractive woman in a short black dress...

The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly ...

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never ...

A guy takes his ill and aging wife in to the doctor's office.After a full examination, the doc tells...

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.She t...

Things Not To Do While You Are With Your Wife In Labor In The Delivery Room1) Clip your toenails. 2)...

A guy is swerving down the road and gets pulled over. The cop says, "You have to take a Breathalyzer...

There was a man at a gas station, pumping gas into his truck. Whilepumping he got gas on his arm. He...

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by exponenti...

Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse and threw it to Fido, the fam...

A woman went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in be...

A Polish student was in his the college campus bookstore. Questioning the store clerk about a book f...

One day A Blonde girl was running out to check her mail and a neighbor was watching. 5 minutes later...

A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic."Everything ok with yo...