miscellaneous

Why do the Vikings play in a Dome?Because even God can't stand to watch!...

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?One in a million become a human being....

What is the best form of Birth ControlAnswer: Marriage...

Your momma's so stupid, she looked over a glass wall!...

How does the brain communicate with the nerves?With a Cell phone!...

What do a turtle and a blonde have in common?When they're on their back their both fucked!...

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?Frost-bite!...

Why does Hellen Keller use one hand to masturbate?Because she uses the other to moan....

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home....

What will Bill Clinton be known for in history? The president after Bush!...

Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the su...

If God had wanted people to be gay... he would've made Adam & Steve instead of Adam & Eve....

Have You heard about the new Divorce Barbie Doll?It comes with all of Ken's stuff!...

Ted: Last night my computer died. Ned: What did it die of? Ted: Aterminal illness...

Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?A: Lipstick...

What's the difference between a porcupine and the White House?With a porcupine, the pricks are on th...

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?A: A stick!...

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?Oh! Look!! Doughnut seeds!!!...

What is the difference between a newfie and a bucket of shit...Answer... The Bucket...

Person: Are you a democrat or a republican?Blonde: Oh, I'm an American....

So you think your life is bad...Just think how bad the life of an egg is...You only get laid onceYou...

I was in the waiting room of my doctor's office the other day when the doctor started yelling, "Typh...

A woman was getting married. She entered the church wearing a black wedding gown that surprised ever...

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. S...

A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked. While he was sitting in the chair being examined...

What's the difference between a woman in the bath tub and a nun?The nun has a soul full of hope.What...

One day, Superman was flying across the sky, and he notices Wonderwoman lying asleep, but STARK NAKE...

A student comes to a young professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pl...

Geez, what died in here? He looks natural but those shoes do not go with that dress. Nice service......

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where :) means a smile and :( is ...

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past."C'mon, te...

Sign seen in a small restaurant:Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Other...

starkle starkle little twinkwho the hell you are I thinkI'm not under what you callthe alcofluence o...

Jill tells her husband, "Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving two...

A guy enters a drugstore and lights up a cigar.The owner, a bit outraged, says "Sir, please refrain ...

Two girls are having coffee when one notices that the other girl seems troubled and asks her, "Is so...

How To Impress a Woman:Compliment her Cuddle her Kiss her Tease her Comfort her Hug her Send her flo...

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.Afterward the doctor...

A man came home a day early from a business trip and discovered his wife in the midst of passionate ...

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower be...

A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing...

There was this guy who was sick so he went to the doctor. The doc ransometests and sent him home wit...

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single batSTANDING upright underneath...

The couple were leaving the cocktail party, where the husband, slightly flushed, had been the life o...

A young man walks up and sits at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires."I want 6 sho...

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy sessio...

A blonde girl just stepped into the bathtub when the doorbell rang. "Who is it?" "Blind man," came t...

Dear Heavenly Father,I think you'd be proud of me! So far today I've done all right. I haven't gossi...

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor..."I feel real good today. I started out this morni...

A hippy with no job kept begging his girlfriend to marry him. She protested for months saying he nee...