miscellaneous

A woman is laying on a gurney out in the hall prior to going to surgery. As she lays there, a man in...

A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's...

Two secretaries were talking about their work. "I hate filing," said one. "No matter how careful I a...

The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom wi...

On the first evening of their honeymoon, they are sitting on the balcony of the hotel while the sun ...

A young couple had identical twin sons and nearly everyone had a heck of a time telling them apart. ...

A male chauvinist tells his buddy over drinks, "I called the local insane asylum yesterday to check ...

A woman married 35 years asked her husband on their anniversary, "What were you thinking the very fi...

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I woul...

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down nextto the grieving widow. "How old wa...

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?A1: "What's a lightbulb?"A2: One. She holds t...

"Darling," she whispered after they had finished making love, "Will you still make love like that to...

Two Polish truck drivers are barreling along when they come up to an overpass. A sign says, "Clearan...

Did you hear about the new computer virus?It's called the "Lorena Bobbit Virus".Apparently, it turns...

A guy was in a bar, and asked for some milk. So in turn a pregnant topless dancer got on the bar and...

Dave: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.Mary: Are you wearing it now?Dave: Yup. Cost me...

A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom.The sales person comes back with the condom an...

Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we coulddo without the ironing lady.Blond...

An anxious woman goes to her doctor."Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from anal se...

As soon as the dentist asked the patient to sit down, he pulled out his wallet.Seeing this the denti...

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat yo...

What is total agony? A one-armed man hanging from a twenty storybuilding, with a serious case of joc...

I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large new motor home was towed into the garage. The fro...

The first 90% of a project takes 10% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.If yo...

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong."Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "Oh y...

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The othe...

A woman went to see a sex therapist with a peculiar problem."My husband," she said, "always falls as...

A nun is walking down the street, when suddenly a punk jumps out of thebushes and hits her over the ...

This couple has been dating for about four months, but the guy had been afraid of making any sexual ...

It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him. Arthur C. Clarke Is...

Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained abo...

A bloke walks into a pub with a frog on his head. The bar attendant asks. "what's that on your head?...

A bleached blonde and a natural blonde were on top of the . How do you tell them apart? The bleached...

There were three girls in a bar. One girl says..."I can get a whole hand up my cunt!"Then the second...

I think it was in Britain where a billboard advertising a car read:"If this car was a woman, she'd g...

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?The sofa doesn't keep...

If a child annoys you, quiet him by brushing his hair.If this doesn't work, use the other side of th...

A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer.The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws h...

A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and...

Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. "I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting...

A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him scribbling f...

A man walks into the bar and orders 2 shots of whiskey and the man drinks one and pours the other sh...

A couple's having dinner in a restaurant when their waitress, standing a few tables away, watches as...

Several nurses on break in the Boston General cafeteria werediscussing boyfriends, past and present....

What did the egg say to the boiling water?"I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!"Sent by...

Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too....

Why do Farts stink?So that Deaf people can enjoy them too....

I heard they closed the zoo in Warsaw. The duck died....

What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for his thoughts? Change....

You know you're a redneck if you do all of your Christmas shopping at a truck stop!...