miscellaneous

Yo mamma's so stupid she got trapped in a bathroom and wet her pants!...

What kind of cereal do cats eat? Mice Crispies!...

How do you castrate a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the mouth!...

"Outside a dog, a book is a great companion. Inside a dog, it's pretty dark!"...

What's the difference between a duck?One of it's legs is both the same.(just say it to confuse peopl...

What does "WIFE" stand for?Washing Ironing Food Entertainment...

What do you call a masterbating bull? Beef strokin'off....

Q: What did the blonde say when the docter told her one leg was bigger than the other?A: Like, Not e...

Q:What do you get when a duck and a cow cross the road? A:Milk and Quackers...

Why did the gum cross the road? -it was stuck to the chickens foot!...

Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it....

How do you confuse a woman?? Give her a choice!!...

Seen in a bar near here: "We don't stand in your toilet, so please don't pee on our floor!"...

Q: Why did the blond jump off the bridge?A: To see if her maxipad really had wings.....

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil......

Q: How do you tell one end of a worm from the other?A: Put it in a bowl of flour and wait for it to ...

Q: What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? A: Shut the door, I'm dressing!...

What is a frogs favorite drink? Croak-a-cola!...

Q: Which is the odd one out - a refrigerator, a washing machine, a TV or a woman?A: The TV because a...

Why did the blonde get fired from her job working at an MandM factory? She kept throwing out all of ...

How does a blonde change a lightbulb? She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."...

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the ...

Have you heard about the new low-fat communion bread?It's called "I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus"!...

Why did God give Mexicans a nose?So they'd have something to pick in the off season!...

Your Momma's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles people SLOW DOWN!...

There was a gay lad from KartoumeTook a lesbian up to his roomWell, they argued all nightas to who h...

Q: What did the blonde do when she locked her keys in her car?A: She had to break a window to get ou...

How is a dog's tail like the center of a tree?It's furthest from the bark!...

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. Shepasses a person who asks, "Where...

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?A: A visitor....

Here's one for you...what do men and linoleum have in common?If you lay them right the first time, y...

What is the prudent thing to do when someone has an epileptic seizure in a hot tub?Toss in your laun...

Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock.A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises....

They say that men only think about sex. That's not exactly true.They also care a lot about power, wo...

A man can actually cater to a woman's every need, so long as all that she wants is to have sex, go t...

"Come on, Steve," one guy said to another at the gym, "your wife is not as bad as you say. What woul...

A doctor pulls out a thermometer from his shirt pocket. He looks at it and says, "Shit, some asshole...

What do you call a blonde behind a stearingwheel? An airbag!...

Why was the bee flying around with his legs crossed? He couldn't find a BP station!...

Your Momma's so fat, the National Weather service had to label her body parts!...

Something to ponder... Do the workers at the Lipton factory get acoffee break?...

Why don't women need to wear watches?Theres a clock on the oven!...

Why does Hillary Clinton Wake Up At 5:30 Every Morning?To Make Sure That She Is The First Lady!...

What did 1 strawberry say to another?Answer, if you weren't so fresh you wouldn't be in this jam!...

What do you call a blonde that dies her hair Brown? Artificialintelligence!...

How can you tell if a blonde stuffs her bra? They'll be square because they forget to take the Klenn...

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her....

Why do Walruses go to Tupperware parties?To find a tight Seal....

She offered her honor, He honored her offer, And so all night long,it was on-her and off-er!...

Ever walk into a room and forget what you came in for?Well, that's probably how dogs spend most of t...