miscellaneous

Whats a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss !Whats a gay dinosaur? A lickdicknopuss !...

The president was trying to keep his presidential promise by puttingmore women on his staff....

-What did the hurricane say to the coconut?-Hold on to your nuts, it's going to be a hell of a blow ...

What is the ultimate rejection?When you are masturbating and your hand falls asleep!...

Whales are mammals. Mammals have hair. SHAVE THE WHALES!...

Q: Why were blondes created?A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge...

Q: What's the definition of strain?A: Teeth marks in the toilet seat!...

"Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual freetrip around the Sun!"...

Why do they have Feta cheese at a Greek wedding? To keep the flies off the bride!...

Why did bill quit playing the saxophone?To play his WhoreMonica...

What is black and white and red all over? A panda bear with diaper rash!...

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a basement? A: A whine cellar...

If the prefix "con" is the opposite of the prefix "pro", then is "Congress" the opposite of "progres...

Why can't girls play hockey?Because they have to change their pads every period!...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To show the squirrel it CAN be done!...

Q: What's better than winning 4 gold medals at the special olympics?A: Not being retarded!...

What is the last thing to go through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield?It's butt!...

Q. How can you tell when a Jewish girl has an orgasm?A. She drops her nail file....

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? A. Beacause it said"concentrate!"...

A Horse walks into a bar: "Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"...

- How come blonde girls have bruises around and in their bellybuttons?- I don't know...Why?- Because...

What is Black and White, and Red all over?Answer: A Skunk with a diaper rash....

A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.He goes into a...

Marie's funeral is a sad one as she goes to join her departed husband. Standing near the casket, a m...

A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper."Black pepper, or...

Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. Even when...

Mirrors are female because none of their reflections are really their own.Stamps are female because ...

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.The first cow said, "I tell ...

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.The m...

There was an old lady who heard you could keep cigarettes dry at the beach by stuffing the pack into...

A woman is laying on a gurney out in the hall prior to going to surgery. As she lays there, a man in...

A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's...

Two secretaries were talking about their work. "I hate filing," said one. "No matter how careful I a...

The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom wi...

On the first evening of their honeymoon, they are sitting on the balcony of the hotel while the sun ...

A young couple had identical twin sons and nearly everyone had a heck of a time telling them apart. ...

A male chauvinist tells his buddy over drinks, "I called the local insane asylum yesterday to check ...

A woman married 35 years asked her husband on their anniversary, "What were you thinking the very fi...

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I woul...

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down nextto the grieving widow. "How old wa...

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?A1: "What's a lightbulb?"A2: One. She holds t...

"Darling," she whispered after they had finished making love, "Will you still make love like that to...

Two Polish truck drivers are barreling along when they come up to an overpass. A sign says, "Clearan...

Did you hear about the new computer virus?It's called the "Lorena Bobbit Virus".Apparently, it turns...

A guy was in a bar, and asked for some milk. So in turn a pregnant topless dancer got on the bar and...

Dave: I got this great new hearing aid the other day.Mary: Are you wearing it now?Dave: Yup. Cost me...

A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom.The sales person comes back with the condom an...

Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron," then we coulddo without the ironing lady.Blond...

An anxious woman goes to her doctor."Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from anal se...

As soon as the dentist asked the patient to sit down, he pulled out his wallet.Seeing this the denti...