miscellaneous

Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shi...

How does a man take a bubble bath?He eats beans for dinner....

You know you're a redneck when you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it...

You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back....

Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?They like being able to both eat and make love in u...

How do men exercise at the beach?By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini....

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?When it's time to go back to childhood, he's al...

What's the easiest way for a wife to cause hearing loss in her husband?Say she wants to talk to him....

Dad: The only way to acquire a new skill is to start at the bottom.Son: But I want to learn to swim?...

I just had the doctor remove an ugly growth from my back. It was my mother-in-law....

The little boy asked his dad one evening, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?""I don't kno...

Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?There's not much variety, but what else is open...

Yo mama so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she plays like this...New York, Chicago, New Orleans, L.A....

My wife is so immature, every time I take a bath, she comes in and sinks my little boats!...

What is a wedding tragedy?To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money!...

Have you heard about the new medication that both an aphrodisiac and laxative?It's called "Easy Cum,...

Patient: Doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow. Psychiatrist: Don't let people push you around....

What do you call a geriatric gynecologist?A spreader of old wives' tales!...

How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes?Pull down their genes...

What does the M.D. after a name of a Soviet emigre physician stand for?Mentally deficient....

Patient: Doctor, is there anything worse than being old and bent? Doctor: Yes there is - being young...

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up a point or more? Doctor: Sell!...

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A: The more you bang it the looser it gets!...

There was once a guy whose tongue was so long that when he stuck it out for the doctor, the nurse we...

Your mama is like a pool table, 25 cents and she'll rack your balls....

Q: What did the black baby say to its mother when it had diarrhea? A: "Mommy, I'm melting!!!"...

What is Green, Slimy, and Smells like Pork?Kermit's Dick...

How do you change a dishwasher into a snow blower? Give her a shovel!...

Did You her Bill Cliton tried to kill himself? Yea he try to O.D. on Viagra and beat himself to deat...

If a tree falls in a forest, and lands on a mime... does anyone care?...

Whats a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss !Whats a gay dinosaur? A lickdicknopuss !...

The president was trying to keep his presidential promise by puttingmore women on his staff....

-What did the hurricane say to the coconut?-Hold on to your nuts, it's going to be a hell of a blow ...

What is the ultimate rejection?When you are masturbating and your hand falls asleep!...

Whales are mammals. Mammals have hair. SHAVE THE WHALES!...

Q: Why were blondes created?A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge...

Q: What's the definition of strain?A: Teeth marks in the toilet seat!...

"Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual freetrip around the Sun!"...

Why do they have Feta cheese at a Greek wedding? To keep the flies off the bride!...

Why did bill quit playing the saxophone?To play his WhoreMonica...

What is black and white and red all over? A panda bear with diaper rash!...

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes in a basement? A: A whine cellar...

If the prefix "con" is the opposite of the prefix "pro", then is "Congress" the opposite of "progres...

Why can't girls play hockey?Because they have to change their pads every period!...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To show the squirrel it CAN be done!...

Q: What's better than winning 4 gold medals at the special olympics?A: Not being retarded!...

What is the last thing to go through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield?It's butt!...

Q. How can you tell when a Jewish girl has an orgasm?A. She drops her nail file....

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? A. Beacause it said"concentrate!"...

A Horse walks into a bar: "Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"...