miscellaneous

yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck...

Why did Helen Keller go insane?She tried to read a stucco wall....

What kind of drugs are mail carriers not tested for?SPEED!...

Why are there only two paul-bearers at a Mexican funeral?There are only two handles on a garbage can...

The Top Ten Things Men Know About Women:10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1(ATTENTION... if you don't get it, seek ...

Q: Why did Bill Clinton quit playing the saxaphone?A: Because he went to the hormonica!...

What do Chinese people name their retarded children?Som Ting Wong...

Yo mamma's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and said "Hey, where's my gumball?"...

Q: What would Princess Di be doing if she were still alive?A: Scratching like hell to get out of her...

Why did Elton John wear a nicotine patch on his penis?Because he was trying to cut down to one fag a...

How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning?Shoot him before he hits the water!...

Your cousin Jimmy is so stupid, he stole some free samples!...

What's better than winning the gold medal at the special olympics?Not being retarded!...

Your mama's teeth are so messed up....i thought her tongue was in jail!...

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one p...

Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?A: They've both swallowed a lot of seme...

Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?A: The rest are hunt'n peckers....

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?A: It takes too long to retrain them....

Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?A: Hump me Dump me....

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!...

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutt...

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?A: To see what was on the other side....

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?A: Because red means stop....

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?A: To see what was on the other side....

Q: What do you call a smart blond?A: A golden retriever!...

What is chemistry's greatest achievement ...... Artificial blondes!...

Q: What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs?A: Hey...Nice Tits!!!...

Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand?A: Trapper John...

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for abeer?"The bartender replies, "For y...

Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter announced that she was pregnant?A: "Are you sure...

Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shi...

How does a man take a bubble bath?He eats beans for dinner....

You know you're a redneck when you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it...

You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back....

Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?They like being able to both eat and make love in u...

How do men exercise at the beach?By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini....

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?When it's time to go back to childhood, he's al...

What's the easiest way for a wife to cause hearing loss in her husband?Say she wants to talk to him....

Dad: The only way to acquire a new skill is to start at the bottom.Son: But I want to learn to swim?...

I just had the doctor remove an ugly growth from my back. It was my mother-in-law....

The little boy asked his dad one evening, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?""I don't kno...

Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?There's not much variety, but what else is open...

Yo mama so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she plays like this...New York, Chicago, New Orleans, L.A....

My wife is so immature, every time I take a bath, she comes in and sinks my little boats!...

What is a wedding tragedy?To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money!...

Have you heard about the new medication that both an aphrodisiac and laxative?It's called "Easy Cum,...

Patient: Doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow. Psychiatrist: Don't let people push you around....

What do you call a geriatric gynecologist?A spreader of old wives' tales!...

How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes?Pull down their genes...

What does the M.D. after a name of a Soviet emigre physician stand for?Mentally deficient....