miscellaneous

What do blacks and Christmas trees have in common?They both have colored balls....

Did you hear about the African missionary that gave some cannibals their first taste of religion?...

Q: What would king Henry VIII be doing if he was alive right now?A: Scratching at the lid of his cof...

Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Touchback....

Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?A: Lawrence of Poland...

Did you hear about the latest Polish invention?It's a solar-powered flashlight....

Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?A: Turn off the carousel....

Q: Why did the Polak cross the road?A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken....

Marriage for women has its ups and downs. How?The toilet seat is up and the hubby's sex interest is ...

Why do women pay so much attention to their appearance rather than toimproving their minds?Because m...

Definition of a Wife:(B)eautiful (I)ntelligent (T)alented (C)harming (H)omemaker...

How do some men avoid making a wrong career move?They never get a job!...

What can a woman find at both gyms and singles bars?Dumbbells....

Scoutmaster: Tenderfoot, how did you get that black eye?Tenderfoot: Sir, I was hit by a guided muscl...

Sign seen on the back of a truck:Driver carries no money, his wife has it!...

Marriage for women has its ups and downs. How?The toilet seat is up and the hubby's sex interest is ...

Bridegroom: How much for the room? Hotel Clerk: Twenty dollars apiece. Bridegroom: Okay. Here's $140...

Why do psychiatrists give their patients shock treatment?To prepare them for the bill!...

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!Psychiatrist: Sit over there and I'll deal...

Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?Tom: Shhh, doctor! My do...

Q: What do John Elway, Art Modell, and O.J. Simpson all have in common? A: They all killed the Brown...

Baby Jim: Mommy, does God use our toilet?Mom: No Jim, what made you ask?Baby: Every morning, Daddy g...

Q: Do you know why Iraq's navy has glass bottomed ships? A: So the sailors can see their air force!...

Why did the blonde have lipstick on her stearing wheel?She was trying to blow the horn!...

Did you hear about the redneck who was shootin craps?He blew a hole in the toilet....

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at thebottom of the pool!...

Question: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?Answer: Just one ... but the lig...

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?A: You only have to teach the...

Q: Why was Raggedy Anne kicked out of the toypen?A: Because she kept sitting on Pinnochio's face say...

What were Jesus' last words at the last supper?"Ok, all you guys who want to be in the picture,get o...

Q: How does an Amish father find his daughter in the field? A: Pretty good....

After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past. "C'mon, t...

"I got your community service right here pal!" "Boy your chamber sure does look different with the l...

The famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to Arlington National Cemetery. All the air l...

You're so ugly, yo momma had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get the dog to play with yo...

Everyone hear the news about Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty being expelled from Disneyl...

A business person once sat behind a small child on an airliner traveling from Chicago to N.Y.The kid...

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth...

Over drinks one evening two gentleman were having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of of...

Tombstone Epitaph:Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:Born 1903--Died 1942Looked up the elev...

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it not...

Father: (at hospital looking through glass at newly arrived babies) "Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she sm...

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wallHumpty Dumpty had a great fallAll the kings horses and all the kings menS...

5 Good Reasons not to be a Penis!1. You're bald your entire life.2. You have a hole in your head.3. ...

Sign on a brake repair shop in Joliet, Illinois, "We stand in front of our work."Sign on a muffler s...

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger...

This guy runs home and bursts in yelling "Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery!!"She says "O...

A clerk was showing a lady a very nice dress shirt and tie."Now this," the clerk said, "is absolutel...

A man walked into a psychiatrist's office, sat down, took out a pack of cigarettes. He removed a cig...

What happened to a Brighton Beach prostitute who had an appendectomy performed by a Soviet emigre su...