miscellaneous

What's coming but never comes?Tomorrow!...

Two bananas are lying on a river bank when a turd comes floating by. The turd looks over and says,...

Tombstone EpitaphIn a London, England cemetery:Ann MannHere lies Ann Mann,Who lived an old maidBut d...

Tombstone Epitaph in Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:Here lies the bodyo...

An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little ...

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game....

A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her w...

A Chicken and an Egg were lying in bed one night. The chicken smoking a cigarette with a smug grin o...

The kid ran out of the burlesque show.The doorman grabbed him and asked what is the matter.The kid s...

A lady went to bed and turned out all the lights. Later she awoke and hearda crash, instantly she di...

A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some rubbers (so she can practice safe sex).She walks up to...

My boyfriend said that for his physical, the doctor needed a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a s...

All children who entered the world in the 1980s and later were born with a special mutated gene that...

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a shotgun. "It's for my husband," she tells the cler...

An old man of 70 married a young girl of18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he h...

One woman says to another, "I can't understand why you haven't gone to see that new gynecologist yet...

There once was a man named Dave,who found a dead whore in a cave.She was ugly as shitand missing one...

What do the Pope and the Rams both appearing in the St. Louis Trans World Dome have in common?They b...

Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000"...

An old lady was knitting as she was driving down the highway. A police officer drove alongside her c...

Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy: "I've got another dress for you to clean...

Everybody knows there are different opinions to everything. Here are some.*A smoking section in a re...

A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes. In grief, t...

Q: Why did Smokey the Bear never have any children? A: When his wife got hot, he beat her with a sho...

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length ...

A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing the following four...

An American has sex with a Soviet emigre woman. The next day his prick turns black. He runs to a doc...

If the NSA made toasters...Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only theNSA could access ...

The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. ...

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards."What Denomination?" Asked the...

Q: Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? A: So brunettes can remember them.Q: What is black and b...

A mother was having dinner with her two young children when her three year old daughter asked her wh...

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hai...

Proctologist: A doctor who puts in a hard day at the orifice.Proctologist: A brain surgeon for lawye...

A Soviet emigre woman comes to a gynecologist and complains:"Doctor, when I wasn't married, I had si...

I was in las Vegas, when a man walked up to me and "sir do you have a extra $20.00, my wife needs an...

Random Thoughts:When I die I want to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather; not screaming ...

Tombstone Epitaph Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:I was somebody.Who, is no bus...

What is the definition of Agony?A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls....

If K-Tel sold toasters...They would not be available in stores, andyou would get a free set of Ginsu...

Q: What did Jesus do when he got to the Holiday Inn?A: He threw some nails down on the counter and a...

Q: Did you hear about the Polak who studied for 5 days?A: He was scheduled to take a urine test....

Q: Why do Polish dogs have flat noses?A: From chasing parked cars....

Q: What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!...

TWO TAMPONS WERE CROSSING THE STREET. THEY SEE A FRIEND. WHICH ONE WAVES?NEITHER, THEY ARE BOTH STUC...

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?"The girl says, "I don't like...

When is the only polite time to slap a midget?When he says, "Gee, your hair smells terrific."...

Q: What's the difference between a girl and a toilet?A: A toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you dr...

A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says "Hey bartender give me a beer".The bartender says - "I'm s...

What's the difference between a mans paycheck and his dick?He can always find a girl to blow his pay...