miscellaneous

Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you'll make your own bed.Guest: I'll make my own bed....

Hear about the guy who played a blank tape at full blast.The mime next door went nuts....

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, ?Olive or twist??...

Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed? He wanted to see what he looked ...

When I was young I used to pray for a bicycle. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I ...

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.A2:...

Q: How did the Polish mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?A: Yellow in the front,...

You know you're a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Band...

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atillathe Hun, and a lawyer, and you h...

Irritated Wife: What do you mean by coming home half drunk?Hubby: It's not my fault...I ran out of m...

Happiness is defined as opening your refrigerator to find your mother-in-law's picture on the milk c...

The doctor came out of the operating room to talk with the man's wife. "I don't like the looks of yo...

Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Never mind, you'll pass eventuall...

Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did...

Patient to optometrist: I'm very worried about the outcome of this operation, doctor. What are the c...

What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?A prostitute can wash her crack and sel...

Little miss muffet... sat on her tuffet... eating her kurds and way.Along came a spider, who sat dow...

Do you know why Polish men, when they go to sleep, bring one glass full of water and one cup empty?I...

A Little Boy Comes Running Into The Room and Says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can You Make A Sound Like A Fr...

What is green, has four legs, and smells like Monica Lewinsky? Thepool table in the oval office!...

A man goes into the optician and asks for his eyes to be tested because he suspected short sightedne...

Ex-President Clinton is currently writing a new National Anthem.It's called, "Yank My Doodle, It's a...

The latest news is, that Bill Clinton has bought a new cigar holder. Unfortunately, due to security ...

Why are there no phone books in China?Because there are so many Wing's and Wong's, they are afraid y...

Whats the difference between Bill Clinton & J.F.K?One got his head blown off in the back of a limous...

Confucious say...All who fly upside-down have crack up.He who stand on toilet high on pot.He who shi...

TEACHER: "Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in onesentence."JOHNNY: "De-feet of DE-duc...

Hear about the Amish couple that was getting a divorce after 55 years of marriage? he wife told the ...

My husband has always taken the time to make love to me in a very romantic atmosphere.In fact, all o...

Things Not To Say To Your Pregnant Wife After Her Ultrasound1) Thirsty? 2) Where did the extra set o...

Patient: Doctor, you've got to help me. Every night I get the uncontrollable urge to go downstairs a...

Q....OK, there's a smart blonde, a brunette, and Santa Claus on top of the Empire State Building. If...

Never slap a man who chews tobacco.There are many many more asses in the world than donkeys.Wooden l...

It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and ...

The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy."Isn't it rather complicated for a small...

Seen in the want ads:A tall well-built woman with goodreputation, who can cook frogslegs, who apprec...

A female snake charmer was wooed by an undertaker and accepted his offer of marriage. They received ...

A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's...

Seems my latest Freudian slip came just as my wife arrived back from a week-long business trip in To...

A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked.While he was sitting in the chair being examined,...

Q: What is grosser than gross? A: Having a dream about chocolate pudding and then waking up with a...

What would you do if you had a condum with a holein it in one pocket, and a rattle snake in the othe...

Q: Did you hear about the Polish man that locked his keys in his car?A: He had to use a coat hanger ...

Q: Did you hear about the blonde man that locked his keys in his car? A: Took him an hour to get his...

Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet? So she wouldn't wake up the Sleeping Pills....

How do you make a blonde go crazy?Place them in a round room, and tell them to stand in the corner!...

Your momma so nasty she charges $10 for sex, gives ya lice, when ya comeback to complain she says - ...

Q: What do you call a smart blonde?A1: A golden retriever.A2: A labrador.A3: An indicator of a reall...

Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?A: They're doing research on black holes....

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?A: In case she locks the keys in her car....