miscellaneous

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two min...

5-year-old Nicholas was sitting on a department store Santa's lap and told him, "My name's the same ...

The Secret Service got a real scare the other day when someone threw a beer at Bill Clinton during h...

You Might Be A Redneck... ...If your dad walks u to school 'cause you're in the same grade! ...If u ...

Sources close to President Clinton say he is proposing a newnational anthem for the United States, "...

The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumertip:Who was fatally burnedMar...

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEJohn Hopkins Medical Center is reporting an unusual occurrence in the Obstetric...

"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decid...

Gena is such a good wife. Why, just let her husband get home late at night and as soon as he enters ...

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Why is it called tourist season if we...

Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting...

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing....

The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted a...

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk....

This just in:A well known college professor has been arrested and accused of putting marijuana in th...

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminatinghunger. What do men dream of?Being st...

The husband returns home one day and tells his wife, "Hi honey, look, I've bought the new Rolling St...

Who needs a man!...My dog growls at me every morning, my parrot swears all afternoon, my fireplace s...

Here lies my wife in earthy mould; when she lived did naught but scold. Good friends go softly in yo...

Patient: My tongue tingles when I touch it to a cracked walnut wrapped in aluminum foil, what's wron...

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied...

An eminent teacher and thinker once expressed his philosophy of life:"When it all boils done to the ...

How do you tell two KKK members apart?Ask their wife. After all, she's their mother.......

Why are E.T.s eyes so big? Because he saw the phone bill....

How do I know anything really exists?Kick it *really* hard....

Q: What did one flea say to the other flea? A: Shall we walk or take a dog?...

What is a waterfall that goes upwards?...Viagrafalls...

What did one casket say to the other ?Was that you coffin?...

You momma is so fat, she needs a sheep for a tampon!...

Q. Where you you fing a dog with no legs?A. Right where you left it....

Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat....

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?A: Spot....

Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?A: Because they can't get their head in the jar....

Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?A: So they know when to stop having sex!...

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?A: Her IQ goes up!...

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?A: "Thanks for the refill!"...

Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?A: So they know what day of the week it is....

Q: What did the raccoon say in his will?A: "Leave it to Beaver."...

Don't be sexist. Broads hate that!...

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut the rope....

Why do so few men end up in heaven?They never stop to ask for directions....

What are the only two kinds of men?Studs and duds....

How could Will Rogers say, "I never met a man I didn't like"?He never had to date one....

How are men like UFOs?You don't know where they come from, what their mission is, or what time they'...

What do you call a man with 90% of his intelligence gone?Divorced...

Why don't men get hemorrhoids?Because they are all perfect assholes!...

What's the best thing to come out of a penis?The wrinkles!...

What's an orgasm, mom? I don't know, dear...ask your father....

What do most women miss most about being single?Having sex!...

Why don't most women ever tell their husbands when they're really enjoying sex?Because their husband...