miscellaneous

Six months into a marriage, a man was asked by his best friend how everything was going. He replied,...

How many Kennedys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?Four - one to hold the bulb, and three to dri...

On day there was a boy at school. He needed to go to the toilet. The teacher said "Say your ABCs fir...

Santa comes once a year - but when he does he fills your stocking!...

Q: Why can't Jesus eat M & M's?A: Because they fall through the holes in his hands....

Your Mommas so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale!...

Where do you look for blondes' obituaries? Under "Home Improvements."...

What do you get when you put two blondes in the freezer? Frosted flakes....

Q: Where does your nose go, when it gets hungry?A: Booger King!!!...

What do you call a girl with only one arm and one leg? Eileen!...

A termite walks into a bar and asks: "is the bartender here?"C'mon...think about it! :)...

Why did the chicken cross the playground?To get to the other slide!...

What do you call 3 blondes under a Christmas tree?Ho-Ho-Ho!...

You might be a redneck when you say ho-down and your girlfriend hits the ground....

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?A: When she has a tampon behind her ear and sh...

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?None - it should be open when she brings it to yo...

Q: What did King Tut say to the museum? A: I want my mummy!...

YO mamma is so fat...she sat on the rainbow and skittles popped out!...

Yo Momma's so old she got powderd milk in her boobs!...

Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?A: An Italian suppository....

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?A: Tell her she's pregnant.Q: What will she ask you?A: "Is i...

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?A: She kept having affairs with men!...

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?A: Divorcee....

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?A: So she could lip read....

Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?A: They both wriggle when you eat them....

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?A: Gee, are you sure it's mine?...

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?A: Opens the car door....

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?A: Reservations....

Grow your own dope! Plant a blonde!...

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?A: She kept throwing out all the "W"s!...

Did you hear about the gay Polak?He slept with women....

What is the difference between a pitbull dog and a PMS woman?Lipstick....

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bringback more than you took....

What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?Slow....

How can you tell if a man you're dating is lazy?He throws his kisses....

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?A mental hospital....

How are men like diplomas?You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know w...

Why is food better than men?Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds....

Why did God create man?Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn....

What does a smart guy do in an M&M factory?Proofread....

Why don't women have any brains?Because they don't have any testicles to put them in....

Why are some married men like candles?Because they occasionally go out at night when they should not...

Besides "I love you", what three words does a wife want to hear most?"I'll fix it."...

You might be a redneck if... You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table....

Death: What some patients do in the end, to humiliate the doctor....

Patient: Please tell me, doctor, am I getting better? Doctor: I think so. But to be sure, let me fee...

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl....

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out....

Q. Where do the Ku Klux Klan buy there sh-sh-sheets? A. At the k-k-k Mart....

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?Nothing, somebody already told her twice!!!!...