miscellaneous

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?A: Your job still sucks after 6 months....

"Three Men And A Baby"What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything...

What is the best way to get a man to do sit-ups?Put the remote control between his toes....

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order....

What do you call a cow with no legs? GROUND BEEF!...

How did Moses part the Red Sea?With a seesaw!...

Why did Mrs.Tomatoe turn red ? She saw Mr.Green Pea !...

Your mamma's so fat, when she backs up, she beeps!...

What do you call a cow with no legs?Ground beef....

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull....

What kind of ear does a train have?an Engineer...

Q. What is Black and White and Red all over?A. A Newspaper...

Don't steal... The government doesn't like competition!...

What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?A DICTATOR!!...

? She opens the car door....

What do you find up a clean nose? Fingerprints...

YO MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE STEP ON DA SCALE IT SAYS TO BE CONTINUED...

your mamma is so fat when she goes swimming in the ocean she gets harpooned....

your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please....

Have you ever seen an asshole wrapped in plastic?Just look at your drivers license!...

Have you ever smelled mothballs????I was just wondering how you would get their little legs open!!!!...

Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?A: Three. One to eat it and two to watch for cars....

Yo mamma is such a bad cook that even the cockroaches throw up!...

A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with....

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt?A: A brain tumor....

What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her panties?Self-employed!...

What do men and women have in common?They both distrust men....

You might be a redneck if... You think the stock market has a fence around it....

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif....

I absolutley hate sex on the television.....I keep falling off!...

Why did God give deers eyes? I have no eye-deer!...

2 pshycologists met each other in a street one day.One said to the other, "You're good today, how am...

What does a nymphomaniac say after she's had sex? Do all you guys play for the same team?...

How can you tell a blonde is under stress?She's got her tampax behind one ear and she can't find her...

If Atheists don't belive in God......can they get insured for an act of god?...

Q: What do you get when you cross a midget with a prostitute?A: A little fucker about so tall....

What do you get when you have 50 politicians and 50 lesbians in a room?100 people that don't do dick...

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says... "Why the longface?"...

Q. - How do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed?A. - Put velcro on the ceiling....

When I die I want to go peacefully -- like my grandfather did -- In hissleep.Not screaming like the ...

Q. How many bouncers does it take to throw someone down the stairs?A. None! He fell....

What is It? Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. M...

What does a short sighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?They both have wet noses!...

Q. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A. Kick his sister in the jaw....

What do you call an open can of tuna in a Lesbians apartment?Po-pouri!!!...

Q: How do you recognize a blonde at the airport?A: She's the one throwing bread at the airplanes....

What has 3 balls and comes from outer space?ET - The extra testicle!...

Q. Why did the male sheep fall off the cliff?A. He didn't see the Ewe turn!...

What's the last thing a gay mortician does before he goes home?Sucks down a cold one!...

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?A: She has a checkbook....