miscellaneous

How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?...Three in front and three in back......

Your momma so fat when she wears high heels she strikes oil!...

Why do blondes where underwear?To keep their ankles warm....

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? - Mistle toe, of course!...

Q. What does a sign on a whorehouse say in the middle of the day?A. Beat it - we're closed....

Have you driven a Ford lately?Yeh, that's why I drive a Chevy!...

Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?A. It doesn't last long enough!...

What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?A good start!...

Q. What do you get when a cow gets stuck in an earthquake? A. A milk shake!...

What do you call a donkey with three legs?A wonkey!...

Yo' mama's so fat when she get's out of bed in New York she sets off the seismographs in California....

What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?Marriage....

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?A stick....

What is a blonde's way of having safe sex?Locking the car doors!...

Q: Why don't Blondes use vibrators anymore?A: Because they keep chipping their teeth !!!...

When is the best time to fake an orgasm?When a rotteweiler is f**king your leg....

Safety Tip:Calculus and automobiles don't mix -- never drink and derive...

Yo Momma is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyone and got stuck....

Q: What happens when a paranoid has low self-esteem?A: He thinks that nobody important is out to get...

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon....

What do you call 13 witches in a hot tub? A self cleaning coven!...

You're so stupid, you got locked in a grocery store and starved!!...

Is that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble?...

Knock Knock...Who's There?Boo...Boo Who?Stop crying it's just a joke!...

Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.Yes sir, it's fresh ground....

A Skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer... and a mop....

Q. If you're American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?A. European....

Why did the little girl bury her flashlight?Because the batteries died....

What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?Quattro sinko....

Your momma's so fat that when she sits on a penny Lincoln dies once again!!...

Bob: Can you see farther during the day or at night?Joe: During the day of course.Bob: Wrong! During...

Illiterate? No problem!Write for free advice....

At least now, Mr. Clinton, we understand why mattresses are discountedevery Presidents Day....

My wife's gone to the West Indies.J'ya make'er?No, Barbados....

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell cause she's got a grenade in her mouth...

Tennessee folks make fun of their northern Virginian neighbors with this quip: You know why birds fl...

Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears. All residents may be fined as a result of not owni...

Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an end to it by arousing his jealou...

A lonely divorcee was driving home from work one evening when she saw a man trying to hitch a ride. ...

A bridegroom, the first night he was in bed with his bride, said, "When I solicited your chastity, i...

Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change the lightbulb?? A: None. He just calls a meeting and...

Q: How does Mrs. Abdul Jabbar like her coffee?A: With Kareem!!!Q: What does it say, on great Hawaiia...

A Japanese man went to the eye doctor. The optometrist said to theman, "Sir, I believe you have a ca...

What's 30 feet long and smells like urine?A country line dance at the nursing home!...

Q: How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?A: Put velcro on the ceiling.Q: How do you ge...

A Columbia Doctor's secretary called an old farmer out my way and said: "Your check came back."The o...

I don't think the leading feminist realized what she was saying when she told a reporter, "As long a...

A single man in his 40's often has a problem finding women at his level of maturity. That's why he d...

If your child asks how Santa Claus gets into the house, just tell him he comes in through a large ho...

What a mother once told her teenage daughter about how it felt to have a baby:"It's kinda like tryin...