miscellaneous

Why was the belt arrested?Because it held up a pair of pants!...

Q: Why do farts smell?A: So deaf people can enjoy them too....

Your momma so fat, when she goes to the aquarium the whales sing "WE ARE FAMILY."...

Confucious say:Man who go to bed with itchy ass, wake up with smelly finger....

Yo momma's so fat her butt looks like two pigs fighting over a Milk Dud!!...

What kind of bees make milk ?Boobies!...

What does Ford stand for?Found On Rednecks Driveway!...

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?A frosted Flake!...

Q: What do you get if put a blonde upside down?A: A brunette with a bad breath....

Yo Momma so old the first cruise line she ever road on was Noah's Ark!...

Why did the jellybean jump off the cliff ?Because he wanted to be a smarty!...

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?Nothing, you already told her to shut up twice....

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?A: By the buckle print on her forehead....

Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?A: Proof reading....

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?A: Frosted Flakes....

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?A: They both get easier to pick-up with age....

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of theirhead?A: All you can eat, under a buck....

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?A: A mental block....

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?A: To catch everything that goes over their heads....

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers....

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?A: Because it kept falling out....

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?A: A dope ring....

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?A: A wind tunnel....

Blonde #1: Have you ever read Shakespeare?"Blonde #2: No, who wrote it?"...

Q: Name two words that have no meaning.A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente....

Yo mamma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she got Don King in a headlock!...

How does the single woman get rid of roaches?She asks them for a commitment....

Why are some women beginning to like work better than sex?More perks, and the payoff is better....

Why did God give woman nipples?To make suckers out of men....

Why did God create lesbians?So feminists wouldn't breed....

Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?A: Stick his bill up his ass!...

How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?They have everything he has, except for talent, money, and loo...

What's the difference between a bar and a clitoris?Most men have no trouble finding a bar....

Why are women so bad at mathematics?Because men keep telling them that this...|<--------------------...

What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?Men always miss them!...

How are men like noodles?They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough....

Why do men resist becoming fathers?Because they aren't through yet being children....

How does an older woman keep her youth?By giving him money!...

Why do men name their penises?Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of thei...

"Okay," said the wife, "I'll admit I like to spend money, but it's the only extravagance I have!"...

Retirement means twice as much husband for half as much money....

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible. Psychiatrist: What!...who said that?...

You might be a redneck if... Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years....

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept....

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund....

What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? SWIMMING TRUNKS !!!...

What is the difference between 'like' and 'love'? Answer: spit and swallow!...

Why did the rabbit cross the road? Chicken's day off!...

Why was Tigger lickin' the toilet?Cause he was lookin' for Pooh!...

Your momma so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran out with a spoon!...