miscellaneous

AGE DRINK 17 - Wine Coolers 25 - White wine 35 - Red wine 48 - Dom Perignon 66 - Shot of Jack with a...

One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store...

Q.- NAME:A.- Iam ApplyinQ.- DESIRED POSITION:A.- Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's availab...

Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little conf...

A terrible flood hit a small town, sending the rescue units out. It just so happened that a devoutle...

Johnny was, by all accounts, the worst eight year old kid on earth. He stole, lied, beat-up his sist...

Her learning curve is fractal. Her lint trap is full. Her lists are unlinked. Her memory is truly ra...

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son wa...

It was so cold last winter that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.A man walked into a...

Supplemental Rules for Bowling If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to ...

You Know You're Getting Older When...Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.The gleam ...

An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthily exam...

A bartender was working the late shift. While he was working, a beautiful blonde woman walked in and...

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day whenSleepy rushes in and says, "Guess w...

A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a...

Twas the Night before X-masT'was the night before christmas- Old Santa was pissedHe cussed out the e...

Divorce is bachelorhood, with strings attached...Tis better to have loved and lost....than have to l...

A ten year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; bu...

The Perfect Woman would say: 1. I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.2. Are you sure you've ha...

Tired of boring old dog name like Ruff, Spot, Lassie, etc?The next time you get a dog, name it: Mype...

Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies! Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:Here's a little story...

Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor.This emperor needed a new head sam...

Dear:Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night.While we make every attempt to le...

1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you e...

This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their v...

How do you get holy water?Boil the hell out of it.What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?...

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ra...

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next ...

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only said his famous "...

There was a retarded duck farmer who had 2 sons, but only enough money to send one to college. So he...

1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.2. Plea...

Calls people to ask them their phone number. Can be outwitted by a jar of Marshmallow Fluff. Can dis...

THINGY (thing-ee) n. female: Any part under a car's hood. male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra....

You Know You're From California When...1. The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway2. Y...

Boredom should NEVER be an symptom in your life. All you need to do is read this list and Rock-N-Rol...

Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies"Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John,A po...

There was a Pope who was greatly loved by all of his followers, a man who led with gentleness, faith...

Children's worst book titles!You Were an Accident Strangers Have the Best Candy The Little Sissy Who...

It's your first time.As you lie back your muscles tighten.You put him off for a while searching for ...

They told me at the blood bank that this might happen. This is just a 15 minute power nap like they ...

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway. You were born somewhere else. You know how t...

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promis...

One day, a space ship landed in a farmer's field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduc...

*** Pre-Mammogram Exercises! ***Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need ...

There was an old man whom, though loved by his son, was being put into an old-folks home because the...

Buckwheat & Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla "How do you spell 'dumb'?"Darla says "d...

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the bigge...

The first 90% of a project takes 10% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.<...

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterpar...

Some ways to make sure you get an interesting prescription:1. Ask to borrow a comb, comb your tongue...