miscellaneous

Why do men snore?When they fall asleep, their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock....

One of the reasons that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce is that those men who promised tha...

What is the difference between a vulture and your mother-in-law? Vultures wait until your dead to pi...

Outraged wife: Couldn't you think of anything better than coming home drunk like this?Husband: Yes, ...

Husband: Honey, has the mailman come yet?Wife: No, but he's panting and sweating pretty hard....

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so ma...

Did you hear about the two blood corpuscles named Romeo and Juliet?They loved in vein!...

Did you hear about the doctor who had his license taken away because he was having affairs with his ...

One Polish surgeon asks another: "How did that appendectomy go?""Appendectomy?" shrieks the other. "...

Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died!...

John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat? Doctor: Cut your head off!...

What's the simiarity between Clinton and a carpenter?One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabi...

What do you call a pregnant Black woman? A dope carrier!...

With all due respect, President Clinton was telling the truth when he said he was not having sex wit...

Q: Bill & Hilary Clinton are on a sinking ship, who gets saved? A: The nation!...

Q: Why did God give women legs? A: So that they wouldn't leave tracks like snails!...

There was a brunette, a blonde, and a redhead and they were in the third grade. Who had the biggest ...

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.He sent in ten different puns, in the hope t...

I like to hang out around the playground, just watching the kids running and screaming. They don't k...

90% of Fords are still on the road. The other 10% made it home! (you know, Fords - Fix or Repair Dai...

If your wife comes out of the kitchen and starts complaining, whatdoes that mean?Her chain is to lon...

Question: What is the biggest oxymoron of the 1990's?Answer: Microsoft Works!...

Why does Clinton play the saxophone?'Cause he can no longer play with his 'hore-monica!...

Q.-Why'd the chicken cross the road? A.- He was attached to Dennis Rodman's head!...

Q: How are a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky alike?A: Insert Bill here....

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's aknob called 'brightness', bu...

MACINTOSH stands for...Most Applications Crash, If Not, The Operating System Hangs....

A blonde complained to her friend, "I can never trust my boyfriend. Why, he cheats so much I'm not e...

Q...What do you call children who are raised in those naughty houses of ill-repute?A...Brothel Sprou...

Q: Why are tornadoes and marriage alike?A: They both start with a lot of blowing and sucking, but in...

There once was an old man from Trent, Whose penis was crooked and bent, And so to save trouble, He p...

This guy comes home from work and when he walks into his bedroom, he finds his wife in bed with 3 ot...

Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after ablonde drives a car?A: Cause she blow...

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!...

Q: Why do blondes have legs? A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.A2: To get between the bedroo...

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?A: Cause their balls show!...

Went to lunch with a friend today to a new chicken place. We asked how they prepare their chickens."...

Hear what the Poles did with all their gold medals?Went home and got them bronzed....

Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin!...

Do you know why the tribes of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years?Because even then, men coul...

There are three things a man over 40 should never forget:Never pass up the opportunity to take a lea...

Three things nobody wants to hear the surgeon say:Oops. Has anyone seen my watch? That was some part...

Q. Whats the difference between an elephants fart and a cocktail saloon?A. Ones a Bar Room and the o...

A hooker was explaining her lifestyle to a girlfriend."I put on stocking on one leg. One stocking on...

Q: What do you call a bull in the middle of a field spanking his monkey?A: Beef Stroganoff...

Question: Why should Monica Lewinsky never go to medical school?Answer: She sucked as an intern!...

Do you know why the Texas Aggies use artificial turf in their footballstadium?It helps stop their ch...

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts",and you put your two cents in, what happens to th...

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?A: From eating with forks....

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"...