miscellaneous

One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in ...

little boy : mummy is god a girl or a boy? mummy: why god is both girl and boy little boy: mummy is ...

An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder...

Women One Liners1. How many honest intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishe...

What would happen if we priced our "COWS" using the same criteria the auto industry uses to price a ...

One day the different parts of the body were having anargument to see which should be in charge.The ...

The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were all disheveled and ...

Calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require physi...

A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a tra...

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lo...

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex withou...

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says "Doc, I'm getting married t...

People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark. The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to h...

Last year, a guy went to a doctor because he was losing weight.He found out he had a tapeworm, and w...

One day a boy came walking home from school. On the way home he saw a creek. He quickly jumped in, c...

For their golden anniversary, a couple decides to repeat their honeymoon trip. They drive to the Poc...

The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman just passing and said, "P...

An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the...

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would ...

The Madam opens the brothel door to see an elderly man standing in the doorway. His clothes are all ...

17. "I finished the Oreo's." 16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty poun...

Three cowboys, a Texan, a Californian, and an Oregonian, were sitting around a campfire smoking, dri...

After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process...

You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. You secretly envy cabbies ...

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Man shoots neighbor wi...

This is a quiz to see if you should be considered a 'professional smart person' by your friends. You...

Two men are driving through Philadelphia when they get pulled over by a Highway Patrolman. The cop w...

Through infinite myst, software reverberatesIn code possess'd of invisible folly.Wilt thou dare inte...

This guy owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend."I know this midget who wants to buy ...

Ed and Ted went to the fair. They came across a small crowd gathered around a stall and went over to...

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking q...

Four nuns are driving to market and get hit by a drunk driver and all four nuns die. They get in lin...

Donna arrived home from work early one day and found her husband, Glen, in bed with another woman. "...

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE C...

Stages of LifeTHE MALE STAGES OF LIFEAGE DRINK 17 beer 25 bourbon 35 vodka 48 double vodka 66 Maalox...

14 Things to do While Taking a Driver's Test1. Turn the radio on. When the tester goes to turn it of...

A woman goes into a bar real depressed and uses her last 10 dollars to buy a drink. All of a sudden ...

A chicken and a horse were playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He c...

A man was driving down the highway, and sees a sign saying ", House of Prostitution, 10 miles" Think...

The scene is a dark jungle. Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the ...

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told ...

Top Ten Ways A Computer Nerd Can Impress His Date10. Flash the big wads of tens and twenties you cre...

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail ...

A Sailor is sitting at a bar one night and is chatting it up with a beautiful blonde. After some dri...

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, c...

A fool and his money are asked to go everywhere! A fool and his money are soon elected. A fool and h...

Every day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th grade girls house. One day he is carryin...

A boy goes on a fishing trip with his grandpa. They install themselves on the river bank and have br...

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?USA Today:WE'RE DEADThe Wall Street J...

Have some fun on your next shopping trip, try these...Hide in the clothing racks and when people bro...