miscellaneous

Plan ahead... It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone...

A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store cler...

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's ...

Little Johnny is walking with his father in the park and they see two dogs locked in a sexual embrac...

Once upon a time when a Blonde was hard up for money, she decided to kidnap a child. So the next day...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the manycanyons when suddenly rising from the hi...

A man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your s...

Never trust a dog to watch your food. When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't a...

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. At a Santa Fe gas station...

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?You'd make a lovely corpse!I never forget ...

One day some guys were doing a survey between "boxers" or "briefs".They went to a 25 year old man an...

A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, "You got any grapes?"Guy at t...

A student had spent all his money, so he called his mother from college and asked if she could send ...

At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an ex...

It beats being an American. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the g...

A man walks into a bar and asks for six shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Six shots? What's wrong...

A guy was sitting in a bar, drinking away. Suddenly he says to the bartender, "I have to go home or ...

A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their...

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector a...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic...

When the Ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said w...

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.I'm tired = I'm tired.Do you want to go to a movie? ...

After each question, your say: "Rubber Jugs and Liquor".Q: What did you have for breakfast? A: Rubbe...

One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.Doctor: What w...

This one big lawyer from the city decided to take time away from his busy day and went out to the fa...

WARNING! POOR FRED IS DEAD. DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE COME TOMOURN HIS PASSING.A bill collect...

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pi...

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner and looked for his wife, but she had awakened and was...

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?If yo...

So you don't know Jack Schitt He's the only son of Awh Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awh Schitt, the fer...

A Blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's we...

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village. They seem to hit it off; t...

A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde went on a trip to the desert.They each brought one item for sur...

There's a brunette walking down a set of railroad tracks saying,"..." Then a blonde pulls up, gets o...

A man worked hard all day digging the garden and felt very stiff and sore. His wife fluttered about ...

TOP 10 REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN (and what they actually mean)10. I think of you as a brother.....

Why God Doesn't Have a PhD:1. He has only one major publication.2. It was in Hebrew.3. It had no ref...

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qual...

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes th...

There was a blonde driving a ferrari. A cop pulls her over forspeeding, the cop asks," can I see you...

JUST FAUX FUN"Can you loan me faux dollars ?""What faux ?""To buy faux diamonds.""What do you need w...

A man who isn't qualified keeps pestering this tailor about giving him a job selling suits. Finally,...

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she ...

A man is eating in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He ha...

Mike Tyson and OJ head to the Vatican to meet the pope and get absolved of all of their sins. While ...

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.What does an envelope say when you...

So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for.There are 365 days per year avai...

Q: Did you hear about the Polish guy that locked his keys in his car?A: Took him an hour using a coa...

After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided...

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, ?Do you want to go to...