miscellaneous

Two condoms were walking past a Gay bar.One looks at the other and says..."You wanna go in and get s...

How do prisoners in jail talk to each other?With their cell phones!...

How do you cure constipation?Sit on a block of cheese and swallow a mouse!...

My wife thinks I'm too nosy. At least that's what she keeps writing in her diary!...

Q: What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?A: The taste!...

Q: Why didn't the sanitary pads say hello to the Tampax?A: Because the Tampax were stuck-up cunts!...

Q: Why do so many black people move to Detroit?A: Because they heard there were no jobs there....

Your momma is so fat, when she stood in the scale to get weighed it read -(one at a time please!!!!!...

What do u call a black priest?Holy shit!!...

Did you here about the new dog breed of dog?It's a cross between a Pittbull and a Collie.First it bi...

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your refridgerator?CHUCK....

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye!"The...

What does a nun wear on a date?A Cross Your Heart Bra and No-nonsense pantyhose....

What was the last thing they gave to Elmo before he left the factory?2 testtickles!...

Did you hear there is a new movie out about the Kennedys?It's called Three Funerals and a Wedding....

Your momma so stanky...when she passes by the toilet it flushes!!!...

Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?A: So she can have a doggie bag for later....

What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?A: Marriage....

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use fo...

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?A: To cover up the valve stem....

Your momma so stupid that when she goes on wheel of fortune she buysa seven!...

Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor...

Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those litt...

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?A: You can park in the handicap zone....

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?A: She moved....

How was wire invented?Two lawyers pulling on a penny....

What's long, black, and smells funny?The Welfare LINE!...

Confucius says:Man who plays with titty gets bust in mouth....

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit get...

Why doesn't Santa have any children?Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down t...

Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other.One says to the other, "Are ...

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?Slap the bitch!...

You know you're a redneck when you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it'...

What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?Four guys watching a football game....

How are daughter's boyfriends like cockroaches?They hang around the kitchen and it's hard to get rid...

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?His wife is good at picking out clothes!...

What is a more macho man?At the critical moment when he can't get it up, he asks the woman, 'Does th...

What does a woman have to do to keep a man interested?Wear perfume that smells like beer....

What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?Lifting his legs so you can vacuum....

Did you hear that they are going to stop circumcising men?They discovered they were throwing away th...

You know you've been married too long when a "Quickie" before dinner now means a drink....

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears s...

What's the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary?Get married on his birthday....

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a curtain. Psychiatrist: Pull yourself together!...

I was twelve before I realized I could cough without having a doctor hold my balls!...

Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature? Nurse: No. Is it missing?...

Yo mamma's so nasty, I was havin phone sex with her and I got an ear infection!...

I had skylights installed at my place the other day...the peoplethat live upstairs are really mad!...

How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?Footprints in the butter!...

Ha ha ha,very funny Scottie....NOW BEAM DOWN MY CLOTHES!!...