miscellaneous

One blond says to another, "how did you die"? "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful" sa...

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the c...

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The o...

Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in.Child: Mot...

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices i...

One afternoon, a lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by ...

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off an...

How to Hunt Elephants -- Comp Sci Style Computer scientists hunt elephants using algorithm A: 1. Go...

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking abou...

The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office."How was work, dear?" his wife asks."L...

Knock Knock Who's there? Agatha! Agatha who? Agatha headache. Do you have an aspirin? Knock Knock Wh...

A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole whose selling point was that it was on top of the la...

Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of wat...

Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath.Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang.The man got out...

10 reasons why a dog doesn`t use a computer:10. T0o0p hqa5rxd 6tt0[o 6ty[p3e 2w9igtjh;pa3wds (It`s h...

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied...

A man returns from a trip to Amsterdam and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor and is imm...

What's the latest dope -- besides you? I heard that they tried to take an X-ray picture of your jaw,...

A man went to Africa to do some game hunting. While there, he hireda young native to accompany him a...

For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I carpooled to our child...

Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?" Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the tim...

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation.There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking.The...

St. Peter has a day-off from his duties at the gates to Heaven and Jesus is standing in for him. Whi...

I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.(Lick finger and wipe on shirt) Let's get yo...

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Outside a country shop: "...

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.You...

Why don't men often show their true feelings?Because they don't have feelings....

Knock Knock Who's there? Ketchup Ketchup who? Catch up with me and I'll tell you!...

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? DWAYNE THE TUB! I'M DWOWNING!...

Knock Knock Who's there? I wannup I wannup who? You do! I didn't need to know that!...

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a prie...

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, b-lines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off t...

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of con...

An old man is sitting at a table with his son and his new grandson.The old man looks at his son and ...

Top Ten Signs Your Relationship Is On The Rocks10. Her term of affection for you is "You Bastard."9....

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating g...

Chaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He gets on the train and is seat...

How did the blonde die drinking milk?The cow stepped on her.What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer...

A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven.When they get there they are stopped by S...

Chuck Norris, Arnold Swartzenagger, and Jean Claud VanDam, were talking one day. Chuck Norris asked,...

A Doctor made it his regular habit to stop at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bar...

It had promised to be a sensational divorce case, with the wife accused of incredible escapades. Tes...

Whats worse than shit on Olivia Newton Johns face?Cum on Eileen....

A white guy and a black guy died and were on their way up to Heaven and they had to stop at the Pear...

One day the African chief's wife gave birth to a white child and the chief was absolutely stunned. H...

An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cann...

Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words...

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the ba...

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of LifeGet Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing ...

He Said...She Said:He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.She s...